A friend called up and asked if they could borrow stuff. We said come on over, and went to open the driveway gate — to find a car parked across our driveway. We called Parking Enforcement, and then sat on our porch for the next hour listening to the sounds of Last Thursday — drivers arguing over right of way on our narrow sidestreet, even going so far as to harass the parking officer for doing his job. Fifteen minutes after the officer called the tow truck, but five minutes before it came by, the owner of the car showed up; he said he thought our driveway was “not in use,” (whatever that means) and then got angry with us for calling the cops. I really hope he gets a ticket in the mail.

When our friend showed up, another car was partially blocking our driveway such that they had to go around the block and climb the curb to get in; they wound up waiting nearly an hour before they could get back out. We called Parking Enforcement again. I finally got to go to bed after midnight, listening to the sounds of drunkards arguing or laughing at the tops of their voices as they tried to remember where they parked.

This is our experience with every Last Thursday, Street Fair, or special event that happens on Alberta, especially in ‘decent’ weather; we either sit on our porch and police our access to the street, or we lose it. The next day we go out and find trash and bottles flung over our fence (this week — a pair of socks!).

The people in charge of these things refuse to realize that there is not enough parking in this neighborhood for what they’re trying to do. We don’t have enough space here for the neighborhood and the existing businesses; and every art gallery, wineseller, eaterie, and yoga place where you can sweat your privileged ass off just increases the pressure, while every event turns the side streets into a pressure cooker full of white upper middle class yuppies from other neighborhoods who feel we should grovel at them for gracing us with their presence. If this kind of thing happened on their street they’d be screaming to whoever would listen. But we who live just off Alberta are supposed to be grateful they clog our streets and block our access so they can go patronize places we can’t afford to go into. And this is exactly the type of “negativity” that the Friends of Last Thursday has ‘uninvited’ from their meetings. Go figure.

10 replies on “Another Wonderful Last Thursday”

  1. Why not park your own car at the entry to your driveway, thus preventing others from parking there? Also, sometimes nails get stuck in tires. Sucks when that happens.

  2. I go through this ALL THE TIME with a coffee shop a couple doors down.
    I painted the curb yellow, which helped, but still you get people who feel entitled to block your driveway.
    I understand the want to go the ‘nails in tires’ route, but … I draw the line at damaging personal property even if they are assholes. Flip the windshield washers up. It expresses displeasure but doesn’t fuck anything up. And, it is legal.
    That said, I must admit to being OVERJOYED when a repeat offender (who even had a prior warning from a passing police officer) parked yet again in my driveway, and ignored me when I confronted her. There was easily room just ahead of the car in front of her, but she ignored me and went about her buisness to get coffee.
    Flipped the windshield….
    SWEET KARMA!
    She gets in her mega-truck and then realizes the wipers are flipped. Ooooh, she gets so mad she wants a word with me, so flings her door open INTO TRAFFIC WITHOUT LOOKING and a car going by rams her door!!!!
    HAHAHA bitch! How you like that deductable?
    Now, the coffe shop response is another story….

  3. AMEN. Holy shit. OP: you, me– let’s band together and maybe we can end LT as we know it. I’ve lived on the “lower” end of Alberta for five years and hate the shit out of the brain-dead assholes who flock to my neighborhood to stumble around drunk and ogle shitty art. (Really, that’s interesting to you creeps?) It’s the one day a week I drive to work and I can’t find parking before 11pm, at earliest. Move this fucker to Hawthorne and watch the citizenry cringe! Are there even art galleries on Alberta anymore? I feel like it’s all feel-good vegan creperies or some shit now. Why are we forced to cater to these douchebags until the end of time? They already won by turning Alberta into an entertainment destination, why do we need to cater to their desire to throw trash around, piss in lawns and shout “awesome”?

  4. Funny how that pay-to-park lot becomes a craft & music area on the one fucking day of the month when Alberta St needs a extra parking.
    I live closer to Fremont than Alberta but Last Turdsday even f&cks up the parking on my block. Why are all these hippies driving? Can’t they all get in one dude’s VW bus or ride their tall bikes to Alberta or something? Have these Fiends of LT people ever done anything to promote LT goers using other forms of transportation? Could the city’s Bureau of Transportation get involved? Or do they just spend all their time & money sending out mail to urge people to place orders for free bike maps and pedometers and stuff, and then delivering all of the free tote bags and maps and shit?

  5. If you don’t want to damage private property by putting a nail through a tire you can always just remove the valve core to let the air out.

  6. This happens to my *parking lot* across the street from a popular bar with surprising frequency. What chaps my ass is the tow truck company, which can legally and quickly remove a friend’s car from the lot, cannot remove a car blocking the entire effing lot! They must have pre-authorization from the police non-emergency line, who THEN calls them to say it’s a go. Bottom line: 1:15 minimum before any of us is getting in or out. Sadly, those pricks usually show up before hand. Seems like we could all find common ground on a ballot measure here…

Comments are closed.