Somehow it has become okay to order a cranberry-vodka or a redbull-vodka. Dearest Portland, it’s liquor THEN mixer, ALWAYS. Would you order a coke and jack, a tonic and gin, a seven and crown? Many nights I now hear customers order grapefruit and vodka, ginger whiskey, diet rum and coke. (wtf is diet rum?) Also, call liquor is named that because it is… call! Vodka soda.. Mono (wrong), gin and tonic.. Sapphire (wrong), ginger whiskey.. Maker’s (double wrong). There’s a grammar to ordering your drink that’s similar to knowing the difference between your and you’re. Order backwards at your own risk. We bartenders judge quick. Enjoy your shitty drink.
Order Your Drink Right, Get a Better Drink
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If I cared any less I wouldn’t finish this…
I really like this. I feel super informed now!
Whoever wrote this should never, ever travel to a country where people don’t speak English. His (or her) brain would probably explode when confronted with all of the ways our native tongue is used and abused around the world.
Relax, dude. As long as someone is understandable and communicates effectively, that’s what matters.
At least I order in the correct, uh, order, but I’ve never heard the term “call liquor”. Sorry, never worked at a bar. Maybe put that erudite terminology and its definition on the fucking drinks menu or something.
I did not know this.
I wish I knew where this person worked so I could never go there.
It should be known.. All bartenders (servers too) perceive their customers to be idiots and douche bags. They’re spitting venom and loathing your existence as they pinch their cheeks into a smile for you. I’ve worked in bars and restaurants in 5 states over 15 years. The one constant I’ve seen is the condescending judgement and outright hate that bartenders and servers express towards their clients. Portland service folk, by far, are the worst. Be wary.
Which is why i buy most of my booze at the “liquor” store and make my own damn drinks at home.
@Beezler:
Most Portland service folks just moved here from somewhere else. They must be following you.
I, Anon- all I ordered was a beer and you still couldn’t get it right. No wonder nobody tips you.
Hmmmm… Well I’ve noticed that tons of people don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” , so good luck with all of that bullshit you just explained, Ianon…
just give him his damn drink without the attitude
Nah Beezer, it’s not all servers…..just the ones not bright enough to do something else, ergo are stuck in a divebar