Scientists around the globe are working hard to create a world where no one has to go without--without an orgasm, that is! England's internet news & info source, Ananova, recently reported a Romanian doctor has invented a vibrating butt implant that causes women to experience cascading strings of instantaneous orgasms, as many as 16 per minute. Dr. Nicolae Gheorghiu, who presumably loves all women, believes his device is so precisely potent, it could make men obsolete! "It's more effective for a woman than having 30 men," Gheorghiu announced. Whew!

Gheorghiu is hot on the idea that women using his medical discovery can "come" day-in and day-out, yet still retain their virginity! No more unsightly broken hymens caused by clumsy men or dildos! Eager to refine his work, Gheorghiu has hired a stable of willing test subjects in Voluntari, near Bucharest, who have allowed him to insert the devices into their backsides under the skin near the top of the ass, where electrodes stimulate the spine with electrical impulses, causing the orgasms. The women's single complaint was that "the thrill was too strong."

Eager to jump on Gheorghiu's orgasm bandwagon, other inventors are hot on the heels of Multiple Orgasm Devices (M.O.D.s). Everyone and his sister is coming up with new M.O.D. designs that are guaranteed to blow your socks off.

Salon.com reporter Virginia Vitzthum test-drove a sleek sports model called Eros. It is a little suction cup that attaches to the clitoris, and she said that the $359-a-pop M.O.D. draws blood into the clitoris, thus stimulating it. Says Vitzthum, "It strikes me as the kind of thing you could buy with comic-book coupons, if you were willing to forgo X-ray specs or a decoder ring."

Another inventor, North Carolina surgeon Stuart Meloy, has devised a M.O.D. implant, which uses a remote control--good for up to a mile away. My thing is, if the remote is a mile away, who's going to push the button?

And why 10 to 15 orgasms? Overkill! Personally, I find it more pleasurable to have one or two Daisy-Bomb-cave-blasting orgasms over 16 dribbling yawners any day of the week. And it is for this reason I am glad I'm not a woman.