ATHEISTS ARE STOOPID! NO! CATHOLICS ARE STOOPID!

DEAR EDITORS: Regarding the letter from Thomas R. Steffen [Feb 15, in which
a Catholic was offended by a picture of George Washington’s face superimposed
on the body of Jesus Christ. Oh, and he was smoking a cigarette, too]. As an
atheist, I find your Catholicism an insult. I’m certain this comment is falling
on stupid ears so it isn’t necessary to say more.

Jeffrey D. Mulcaster

DOESN’T TAKE MUCH TO GET ME ANGRY!

TO THE EDITOR: I’ve been watching the demolition and now the construction
of the brewery blocks from my place of employment (and the best view of this
urban abomination), on a daily basis from the beginning. Naturally, the feature
story Construction/ Destruction [Feature, Feb 15] caught my eye. I admit,
every so often I’m too lazy to go outside and get a print copy of the Mercury,
so I’ll use the Internet. Today was one of those days. I was appalled when I
read the sentence (referring to the grain elevator by the Steel Bridge), “Progress,
in the form of amazon.com, has co-opted this
space and scrawled its ugly signature across it in letters 20 feet high.” I
find it rather ironic that in the portlandmercury.com version of Stevan Allred’s article, the amazon.com that he is bemoaning is shown as a link. Does the Mercury get $$$ for
such linkage? I can’t speak for Allred, but I bet he would be pretty irate.
I know I am.

Lanova Bartlett

The Mercury responds: Be irate no more! You’ll be happy to learn
that we receive absolutely zero $$$ for insulting amazon.com,
and that turning URLs (like amazon.com) into hyper-links is an automatic function that occurs on practically every website
in the world.

VERA’S HORSE DROPPINGS

HEY MONICA: Construction/Deconstruction [Feature, Feb 15, edited by
Monica Drake] was GREAT STUFF! How about doing Plans of Development?
Like the “Hollywood/Sandy project.” Like all the rest of Vera’s progressive
horse droppings, it’s destined to displace the citizens and wreck another “We’re
doing just fine as we are” old Portland neighborhood.

Bud


A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE

DEAR SEAN TEJARATCHI: Well! Ask and you shall receive! Thanks so much for
holding my hand through the Funny Pages [“What’s So Funny?” Feb 22], it was
as if a 120-watt bulb were suddenly flicked on in a dark basement. And “Underworld”
really was funny. I might add, Sean, that along with being a wise and
gentle teacher, you are one handsome fella! If I were gay, I’d be covering pages
of notebooks with “Ziggy Tejaratchi.”

Ziggy Aguilera

WHOOPS! TOO LATE!

DEAR MERCURY: Don’t listen to those whiney know-nothings that criticize the
comics [Letters to the Editor, Ziggy Aguilera, Feb 22]! I have never read cooler,
more intelligent and (oh baby) funnier comics in my life! Kaz, Stump, Tony Millionaire
and especially Slurpee McFee, are comedic geniuses! Never ever again publish
a letter written by Ziggy Aguilera, but you can continue Mr. Tejaratchi’s erudite
column to enlighten the less than gifted.

Keering Plastik


IDIOT, IDIOT, NOT IDIOT

DEAR ZIGGY AGUILERA, ET ALL: Idiots! IDIOTS! The Mercury‘s comics page
is great, and my only desire for change is more! Illiterate banal imbeciles
may comfortably peruse the snOregonian‘s fine selection of mainstream
syndicated crap. Try Cathy, Family Circle, Peanuts, etc., they’re probably more
your speed.

P.S. To Sean Tejaratchi [Re: “Maakies” Feb 25]: You are also an idiot. This week’s episode was a savage, yet sentimental indictment of our culture. And the supplemental small panel, with the house bulldozed in the son’s absenceOK, it wasn’t funny. But it did make sense.

Mercury, keep up the fine comics. And add a page, please.

Ben Salzberg


A NOTE FROM THE MERCURY

HEY EVERYBODY! Just a reminder that the Mercury “Compact Disc of Sound”
is out and available for purchase! It contains SIXTEEN of your favorite local
bands, and as a little bird might say, it’s cheep, Cheep, CHEEP! Turn to page
17 for more information, and join us at our FREE CD release parties! See? That’s
a deal even Ziggy Aguilera could love!