DEAR PATRIOTS: Thank you for your brave service to our country, which includes—but is not limited to—arming yourself to the teeth and taking over a federal bird refuge. (That’ll stick it to Obama!) To celebrate the conclusion of your 41-day standoff, we’d like to remind ALL Americans that patriots need love, too! That’s why we’re proud to share these limited edition “Oregon Standoff Valentines” that you can print, cut out, and send to other brave lovesick militia members… just like you! Why are we doing this, you ask? Because, Valentine… we love God, America, and YOU (in that order). HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
(Got your own “Oregon Standoff ” quotes that would look nice on a valentine? Tweet them to @portlandmercury and add #MilitiaValentines.)
MANY MORE AFTER THE JUMP>>
Want more Valentines? Read the Mercury‘s reader submitted love notes here!
Sick and awful. You should be ashamed
These white militant themed valentines are just what I need to woo “the terror sex.”
Thank you Portland Mercury!
And God bless the arbitrary form of America that I personally believe in despite all historic and legal precedence to the contrary!
Hey everyone – please do not make fun of Ryan Bundy’s face. He was hit by a car as a child and suffers from partial paralysis.
Instead make fun of his and his brother’s and his father’s shitty beliefs about privatization and what constitutes a meaningful protest.
The Brian Cavalier one says “than than”
Well i guess an obama valentines day card would simply say.. “thanks for letting me fuck you”
I ordered the entire set! However, upon arrival they promptly started digging up my yard, trashed the house. Left guns all over the place. Begged for snacks and other donations. Started tearing up my neighbors yards and began preaching some weird distorted version of the US Constitution.
Can I send them back? How do I get rid of these free loading grifters?