Via Reddit, here is an actual story currently on an actual local news organization’s website. From KPTV:

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And here is the entirety of that story:

FOREST GROVE, OR (KPTV) -Monday’s warm weather brought out a couple of mermaids, and even a dinosaur.

A boy in a custom-made dinosaur costume was seen wandering around the Rogers Park area in Forest Grove on Monday afternoon.

A Fox 12 viewer says he scared some girls while on the play structure. One of them came back later to snap a photo, which he graciously posed for.

I think this calls for a poll.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)