A drunk Orlando, Florida woman rams her car into a school bus filled with kids going to karate class, and luckily for the entirety of the internet, a local news team videotapes her drunky confession moments after the crash. Apparently it had something to do with that thing… what do you call it? Makes the car go? Not the brake pedal… the other thing…. AW FUCK IT!!! I’M DRRRRRRUNK! YEE-HAW, SHITHEADS! GIMMEE ANOTHER WINE COOLER. AND FUCK YOU, KARATE KIDS! I’LL SNAP YOUR GODDAMN CLAVICLE IN HALF!!!
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Yeah, we’re trying to keep it classy down here.
She’s really pretty.
i would totally do her
I think these were all the things Graham said when Marissa got hired.
Probably the car’s fault. Recall.
Cold sore. 5 O’clock.
At least a tree didn’t jump out in front of her car. They’re pretty tricky sometimes. Her magic hat would’ve protected her, though.
testing new comment system. test test test.