At least according to a new study that was most definitely paid for, statistically compiled by, and rewritten to suit their needs by The Onion staff.

WASHINGTON—Following one of the finest and most widely praised weeks in the history of The Onion, a new study published today found that the trusted news outlet has never been more popular, more admired, or more respected among Americans, with record numbers of readers saying the last five or six days in particular constitute a veritable high watermark for the company.

“I love The Onion’s reporting now more than ever, especially their social media presence and live coverage of events, and I can’t think of anything that has happened recently that would make me think they are anything but flawless and beyond reproach,” said Onion reader James Harte, echoing the opinion of 311 million Americans who ranked the paper above all other news outlets in areas such as fairness and credibility, and who said they are unable to recall a single instance, particularly recently, in which they’ve ever been displeased with anything The Onion has said or done.

Well, that’s all I needed to hear. Keep up the good work, Onion! (Read the rest here.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

9 replies on “More People Than Ever Love <i>The Onion</i>—Says <i>The Onion</i>”

  4. To be fair, the Onion immediately took accountability for what they did, recognized not only what they had done wrong but WHY it was wrong, and apologized for it. I don’t think that we should forget that the whole thing happened, but it’s a little late in the game to attack them for it.

  5. One person at the Onion made a dumb tweet that was up for about sixty minutes. Does that outweigh the 15 years or whatever they’ve provided -daily- some of the best satirical writing around?

  6. Wait, we can say–looks around–“cunt” on Blogtown?

    In that case, you’re all cunts for excusing a mediocre “joke” about a nine-year-girl by a mediocre publication.

  8. The joke was about the culture of judging and knocking down celebrities for our own amusement. They chose a 9-year-old for the absurdity of it, not because they think a 9-year-old is a cunt.

    The people that are super-offended by it are mostly the same ones that would defend Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke a slut or 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton the “white house dog” as a joke, because they don’t understand irony.

  9. AW, FUCK. I EVEN LAUGHED AT CC FOR RIPPING IT OFF. GODDAMMIT. SORRY, SPACEMAN. DISLIKING MY COMMENT NOW (WHICH SHOULD BE ADOPTED AS AN OFFICIAL BLOGTOWN PENALTY).

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