Cosmic Charlie at Our PDX Network has posted an anecdote about riding the bus yesterday afternoon, watching a man get on wearing low slung trousers that showed his butt crack. As a critique of society gone mad, the writing is as frustrating to read as anything by John Kennedy Toole:
The fellow was wrestling with a suitcase, an umbrella, a bicycle helmet, (but no bike) and trying to keep his pants up. In his defense, only the top of his butt-crack was exposed, but the driver noticed immediately. “No one wants to see that. Pull your pants up!”
A touch of humility would have made this go away, but the rider replied, “Fuck you, I’ll dress however I please. You can’t even see my ass yet anyway.” True, he hadn’t turned his back to the driver.
Yet.
“One more outburst from you and I’ll have the cops take you off the bus!”
“Yeah, what the fuck ever!”
The driver started the procedure for calling the cops. He called dispatch, and as soon as he did Mister Underdressed stood up, wiggled his pants/bike shorts down so about half his ass was exposed, then retook his seat. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw this, but it outraged another passenger. “Hey! Pull your pants up! There’s fucking kids on this bus!”
At some point, the cops are called, and a supervisor shows up, saying “Nudity per se is not illegal, unless he’s trying to sexually arouse someone.”
I love it. All this North American terror about arousal and kids. It’s hilarious. However: I feel I should clarify that technically, only an exposure of the genitals counts as indecent exposure in Portland under city code. You may wish to read last week’s story about nudity, indecency, and the law, for more enlightenment. And thanks, Charlie, for making me laugh this morning. I’ve been enjoying your new blog a great deal.
I like the fact that the person apparently worried about decency for kids’ sake shouted ‘fucking’.
Yes! Another Our PDX Network fan! Drop by and have a drink with us on October 8th, will you?