I hate to shine a light on such things, but, hey, what the hell…

Ethan Epstein, Portland’s very own youngish conservative grumpus, is at it again, taking to yet another national right-wing publication to peddle the standard stereotype of the Rose City as another haven for soft, pabulum-fed, vice-enabling hippie elites who couldn’t fart their way out of an organic coffee house.

Epstein is no fan of Stumptown and the Southeast hipster scene he associates with it. He’s aghast at how readily we questioned the FBI’s role in last year’s Pioneer Square bomb plot. He wants a bigger, burlier CRC. And now, in his latest flourish, Epstein takes on Old Town and the new Bud Clark Commons, in a column published by the Wall Street Journal.

The timing is such: The day center for Portland’s homeless population, which also will provide permanent beds for dozens of residents, is due to open later this week. It’s been hailed by service providers and others as an example of the city’s commitment to addressing homelessness.

Epstein, however, has some other thoughts. Hit the jump.

First he complains that the building isn’t an eyesore:

The building—replete with solar panels on the roof, bicycle racks out front, and a glassy atrium on the bottom floor—looks more like a luxury condo than a homeless center.

Then he complains about neighborhood panhandlers, having never apparently been to Pioneer Square or ordered lunch at a food cart pod.

On a recent afternoon, I witnessed three people harass commuters for change at the transit station across from the center in five minutes. Justin Hansen, a project manager at a production company five blocks from the center, says he is panhandled at least one or two times a day on his way to work and more often when he ventures deep into Chinatown.

All this leads to his point: Portland is a magnet for the down-trodden. We molly-coddle! And our persistent problems with homelessness have nothing to do with the recession! Statistics? Evidence? Who needs ’em?

They’re not coming for the weather. Portland has justly gained a reputation as a place with a high tolerance for vagrancy. Even as San Francisco—San Francisco!—has implemented an ordinance that bans sitting or lying on city sidewalks between 7 a.m. and 11 p.m., Portland has shown little inclination to do the same, despite persistent and occasionally aggressive panhandling. (Portland once had a sit/lie ordinance, but it expired in 2009 and appears unlikely to be reinstated, despite advocacy from the Portland Business Alliance.)

Did I mention Epstein’s a Reed kid?

Denis C. Theriault is the Portland Mercury's News Editor. He writes stories about City Hall and the Portland Police Bureau, focusing on issues like homelessness, police oversight, insider politics, and...

20 replies on “Portland’s Very Own Young Conservative Crank!”

  1. Am gonna restrain myself, in a more amicable and not confusing use of words, I`ll apply some self control and won´t say what I think of that guys opinion and stances.

    So, the homeless people are supposed to be standing up all day? what are they, scolded school children? They only legal place they could go to lie down is in shelters?

    **OMG, what`s next, Rights for Homeless People??!!!

  2. Let others decide if one caused the other.
    But since Bud Clark started the fist ‘plan to end homelessness’ Oregon has also become the state with the highest (estimated because you can’t realistically count) number of homeless.

    That count is also due to the volume of services offered to those experiencing homelessness.

    Economics shows us demand for a free product or service is endless.

    So when you want more of something (homelessness) you subsidize it (free condos and yoga classes)

  4. Denis: just out of curiosity, how long have you lived in Portland/metro area?

    And if homelessness is due to the recession, then we’ve had a long, long recession here in Portland. The inordinate number of homeless in Portland have been around even in the best of times. It’s the cheap heroin, not the housing bubble.

  6. He’s new enough to town to know that any city the size of Portland is going to have homeless people in it, and to know that Ayn Rand’s unholy spawn will continue to attract attention by attacking people who have nothing.

  7. wow. was trolling through the linked stumptown post’s comments from 6/3/11 and came across this gem from Chunty:

    “far too many hipsters either spent their formative years here and feel they’re too cool for Portland (moving to Brooklyn!) or they already found NYC too challenging (just moved here from Brooklyn!) or full up of dumbshit tightpants fixxers. “I bet my look ain’t played out on the West Coast yet!” (kidding).

    There’s this perception that Portland is the Big Easy, the safe retreat where the winter won’t kill you, the bike lanes will protect you, and there’s always someone to flirt with.

    It’s the temptation-du-jour for young slackers tired of wherever they’re at. You’d think hipsters ran this town! One big summer camp retreat for the grass-is-greener social climbers.

    Sasquatch is every other weekend and your friends in SF are, like, a half hour’s drive away. The rain makes you sad…until you embrace the sadness and it makes your songs / stencils / bike framebuilding really DEEP. Portland, where there’s no choice but to GET REAL! Like I said– hipster summer camp. A cabin in the woods where you become the next Bon Iver.”

    take a bow, sir. if you are not receiving royalties or something from the Portlandia folks you really should get ahold of your attorney.

  8. It’s not surprising that he’s Reedie. One of my old classmates there was part of a clique that was equally fond of Ayn Rand and cocaine (a combination that can only bring out the worst in people). She eventually became a high-up mucky-muck at the Cato Institute.

  11. You mucked up your valid argument with the last sentence, my friend. I would go as far to say that you made a point that Epstein would cherish and use if he wrote this piece on another person. “Did I mention he is a Reed kid?” Not only implies the fact that you take his actions to be childish, but you associate them with Reed students

  12. For a Reedard who stayed here after graduation – a relative rarity in my circle – Mr. Epstein sure has a raging hate-on for Portland.

  13. @anon:

    My intent in pointing out the Reed ties was to note that he’s probably been playing the role of “conservative behind enemy lines” for some time. I remember similar self-styled iconoclasts working for the conservative newspaper where I attended university.

    But, yeah, it falls wide of that intent and comes off more as a cheap shot against whomever: him or the school.

  15. Why doesn’t he just move to Provo or Lubbock or Colorado Springs or one of those other “conservative” strongholds? I’m sure there are no homeless people in any of those places to offend him with their flagrant not having any money.

  16. Speaking as someone who suffered through several classes with him at Reed, he has always been, and will always be, one of those people who MUST defend the least popular side of an argument, however wrong, stupid, and illogical that side is. He thrives on being contrary. And that is why we are not friends.

  18. Eric, please stop.
    This new building will do nothing to stop homelessness.
    It only allows us to feel better about ourselves – that we are doing something about it.
    Showers, lockers, etc are really good ideas though.
    Remember when “Dignity” Village was supposed to be a transitory place to get on your feet before getting a apartment or home?
    Hasn’t quite worked out that way, right?
    I drove by there the other day. Many of the cars parked out there are better than the one I drive.

  19. I forgot to mention that I agree with almost all of Epsteins views posted here, and yet I am a registered Democrat, with a solid voting record.

  20. Chuck Garabedian:

    Thanks for pulling the “You’ve not lived here long enough to have an opinion” card. You have totally invalidated all Mr. Theriault’s argument, reason and sexy big words.

    KUDOS to you!

    For the record, I’VE been in Portland since ’93. So I guess I get to have more street cred or whatever you might wanna call it in my opinions about Portland, Homelessness, coffee vendors and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

    How about them Blazers?

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