I know you guys have been waiting for it all day, so here it is! THE LARS LARSON HEADLINE OF THE DAY!

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HA! Good one, Lars! See, it’s funny because… because… wait a second. I don’t get it. Sam Adams doesn’t dance, but he wants to? And he only dances with questions? WHAT? Maybe Lars can add a little context:

After the way Sam danced around the questions, I’m convinced that he should be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars.

Ummmmm… I’m sorry, but I just don’t… hold on. HO-HO-HOLD ON JUST A SECOND! I get it now! See, Sam Adams doesn’t give Lars the answers he wants to hear, and that’s just like a professional dancer! Because dancers don’t like to talk—they like to DANCE! BOO-YAH! Good one, Lars! A little obtuse… BUT GOOD ONE!!

Listen to Sam Adams discuss his dreams about becoming a professional dancer here.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

3 replies on “The Lars Larson Headline of the Day!”

  3. I detest Larson, but for once he is right. Adams is a preening self serving farce. I care less about his sexuality (and no one should target him for it), but I feel he has not lived up to his promises.

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