Bey Day: A Celebration of the Queen
Worship at the altar of Queen Bey on the occasion of her birth at Holocene’s extra-special celebration of Her Flawlessness, Bey Day: A Celebration of the Queen. There will be a Yoncé costume contest, DJs playing all of Her Majesty’s deepest cuts, and on-theme video art. Practice your “Single Ladies” moves and get ready to bow down, bitches. MEGAN BURBANK
9 pm, Holocene, $10
Gay Softball World Series
If you happen to notice an extra 3500 gorgeous people around town during Labor Day week, you can thank the Gay Softball World Series—which is in Portland this year YAY! Expect 240 teams of the highest caliber to compete for the title of greatest gay softball team in the world, plus entertainment from Pink Martini, Bryan Justin Crum, a pre-tournament pool party, a gay softball pageant, and tons more fun. DO! NOT! MISS! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Sept 3-10, Various Locations, Visit gsws2017.org for a full list of events.
Conor Oberst, M. Ward
It’s oddly comforting to listen to others croon about their heartbreak while struggling with our own. Singer/songwriter Conor Oberst’s stripped-down melodies provide the perfect soundtrack for this. That’s why it’s somewhat surprising how little conversation or press welcomed the release of his new album, Salutations. The sprawling, 17-track epic centers on Oberst’s continually soft, melancholic vocals and heart-wrenching songwriting. Seeing him live is a bucket list requirement, so you’d better get it over with. DELANEY MOTTER
7 pm, Oregon Zoo, $30-90, all ages
Miss Ethnic Non-Specific
Kristina Haddad’s show touches on stereotypes, race, misogyny, and the overriding feeling that you have to fit in somehow, somewhere.
7 pm, Shaking the Tree Studio, $15-20
LaFemme Magnifique International Drag Pageant
Darcelle, the grand dame of Portland drag, returns with another visually stunning and hilariously fabulous installment of the La Femme Magnifique Pageant. Gorgeously attired contestants strut their hot stuff, vying for the coveted crown of the most glamorous female impersonator in the world! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
5 pm, Oregon Convention Center, $35
Tour de Lab
Ignore the Tour de Lab’s lamentable talk of all the “doggerific people” who’ll be participating—you’re signing up for this year’s event to ride your bike (19- or 41-mile courses), drink (pub stops!), eat hot dogs, and kick some money to the DoveLewis Emergency Animal Hospital. Simple. DIRK VANDERHART
8 am, Various Locations, click here for route information
Valley Girl
Martha Coolidge’s 1983 teen comedy isn’t much more than a clot of ’80s stereotypes coagulated around young Nicolas Cage as one of the most inauthentic “punks” the decade ever served up. Coolidge deploys Cage like a bug-eyed missile launched at cornball storytelling, simultaneously satirizing and embracing the teen film formula. It’s never as exploitative as it probably should be (it only exists because Moon Zappa scored a novelty hit with her “Valley Girl” single the year before), so it ends up feeling like the cinematic equivalent of Pat Boone covering the Clash. Soundtrack’s still fuckin’ great, though. BOBBY ROBERTS
7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9
Don’t forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!