I want to be a screenwriter
Writers in Hollywood movies, though frequently without funds, are never evicted from their nice apartments. They usually wear expensive clothes, and always seem to have money for drugs. Their drug habits, though freely indulged, never become a problem. However, their nymphomaniac girlfriends are usually alcoholics. But writers in movies are never monogamous, because everyone finds them incredibly sexy. (That's because, in movies, writers bathe.) Best of all, writers in movies can and do commit murder and other heinous crimes without retribution. For instance:
Henry Fool (1997)--Henry (Thomas Jay Ryan), a writer and degenerate, lives in a cozy basement apartment in Queens, and drinks too much Budweiser. His nymphomaniac girlfriend (Parker Posey) is an alcoholic. A sharp dresser, Henry murders his next door neighbor, has sex with children and old people, and eventually moves to Sweden.
Naked Lunch (1991)--Bill (Peter Weller), a writer and exterminator, lives in a fabulous apartment in Tangier, and shoots too much toasted caterpillar meat. His nymphomaniac girlfriend (Judy Davis) is a junkie. A sharp dresser, Henry murders his girlfriend, has sex with teenage Moroccan male prostitutes, and eventually moves to East Germany.
Henry and June (1990)--Henry (Fred Ward) and Anais (Maria de Medeiros) are writers living in fabulous apartments in Paris. Their nymphomaniac girlfriend (Uma Thurman) is an alcoholic. Sharp dressers, Henry and June fuck half of Paris before eventually moving to America.
Wonder Boys (2000)--Grady (Michael Douglas) and James (Tobey Maguire) are writers at some college in a picturesque section of Pittsburgh, where they drink too much gin. James' nymphomaniac boyfriend (Robert Downey, Jr.) is very badly addicted to narcotics. James, a sharp dresser, murders the dean's Rottweiler. Grady, a transvestite, is loathed by women. Sadly, he remains in Pittsburgh.
Shakespeare In Love (1998)--Bill (Joseph Fiennes), a playwright and degenerate, lives in a cozy attic apartment in Elizabethan London and wears a rather fetching all-leather number with matching codpiece. He fucks half of London before meeting Gwyneth Paltrow, a transvestite. They fall in love and win seven Academy Awards.
The Player (1992)--A Hollywood studio executive (Tim Robbins) decides that movie writers have it too good. He kills a writer and steals his nymphomaniac girlfriend (Greta Scacchi). They move to Brentwood.
