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Secret bicycles of the future glimpsed at Maker Faire.
Cycle Secrets
When City Hall beefed up the Noise Ordinance last summer, they pooh-poohed concerns that the new restrictions would be used to shut down music clubs around Portland. But last Wednesday night, those fears turned into reality when a mildly-amplified set by visiting artists Of Montreal was cut short by police enforcing a noise complaint–oddly enough, […]
Trixy Sweetvittles’ Wild and Wooley Festival of Animation Thurs July 5 Hollywood Theater We at the Mercuryknow what it’s like to be one year old. How good it feels to grow and learn–to stand after months of crawling, to fish around in our own diapers, and to manipulate our parents through crying and breath-holding. So […]
The Epoxies w/ Volumen, Cobra High, Starantula Sat June 23 Satyricon The Epoxies have been making waves. But first, they made me drink, watching me and whispering to one another in a thick Serbo-Slovo-Kranian dialect. I don’t know what I drank; it was very alcoholic and tasted just awful, but they had guns and anyway, […]
I want to be a screenwriter Writers in Hollywood movies, though frequently without funds, are never evicted from their nice apartments. They usually wear expensive clothes, and always seem to have money for drugs. Their drug habits, though freely indulged, never become a problem. However, their nymphomaniac girlfriends are usually alcoholics. But writers in movies […]
Pullout: “We’re Geeks and We Know It” Music Issue
The video section of your local library sports an astonishing selection of wholesome family enjoyment, subtle eroticism, chilling horror, and vacuous infotainment. For instance: Richard Simmons and the Silver Foxes–Fitness Führer Richard Simmons remakes Triumph of the Will as an aerobics video for octogenarians. He outfits the ancient parents of five of Hollywood’s best-loved stars–Sal […]
AFTER A LONG DAY of your unique lifestyle, you feel like unwinding with a good film. Fortunately, you picked up a Mercury at your local tanning salon! Those razor-sharp Mercury film critics never steer you wrong. So: If all you’re looking for is some festive, brightly-colored entertainment that doesn’t make you think too hard, then […]
Pullout: Guide to Gifts
MYKLE AND KEVIN went to the Laser Beasties at OMSI last week, and it blew their freaking minds. Here are their thoughts. MH: I saw my first laser light show–Pink Floyd, of course–when I was 15. That was also the first time I ever smoked pot, and the combined experience left a heavy stamp on […]
THE TINY PICTURE CLUB, a group of low-tech Portland filmmakers, exposes their latest round of interlocking Super 8 films to the public this week. I contacted a spokesman for this secretive group of cinematic superfiends via a high-speed encrypted data exchange. Answers to my questions were delivered days later by a uniformed agent of the […]
1) You will need to sneak some beer and a bottle of whiskey into the theater. If an usher spots your drinks and takes umbrage, inform them that you are a personal friend of Paul Allen’s. 2) During films you drink whiskey, during videos you drink beer. If the projectionist forgets to switch the audio […]
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