Francis Ford Coppola’s long, slow descent into irrelevancy would be so much more painful to watch if he didn’t seem like he was having such a good time being rich. Instead of continuing to churn out interesting films like his seventies brethren Scorsese, Spielberg and – in the sense that his growing obesity has not yet forced him into some kind of movable throne/wheelchair, George Lucas — Coppola seems more interested in selling overpriced wine than actually making films. This would be all well and good if the movies he made — when he actually got around to making them — were halfway watchable. But can anyone think of a worse movie than Jack?

7fcf/1241732335-jack.jpg

Now, fresh off the unwatchable Youth Without Youth, comes Tetro, his latest film staring Vincent Gallo, who apparently has taken a break from selling his own sperm, to play some kind of tortured writer (is there any other kind in cinema?) trying to escape the demons passed down through generations of an artistic immigrant family. After watching the trailer below, the only thing Coppola could do to make things even worse would be to throw his money behind an upcoming film version of Jack Kerouac’s novel, On The Road. Wait, whats that? Oh shit.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=XJ_XTIsMKig%26hl%3Den%26fs%3D1

12 replies on “An Offer I’ll Gladly Refuse”

  1. You know the Jack isn’t a new movie by any definition, right?

    Also, those little cans of Sofia sparkling rose are actually pretty good. And they come with a straw!

  2. Oh, there was a jump. Perhaps some sort “after the jump, [x]” would be in order.

    Youth without Youth wasn’t all that bad. I’d take it over a new Star Wars any day.

  9. “overpriced wine”? What’s your budget, $2/bottle? Go get some two-buck chuck and enjoy writing your self-indulgent preemptive movie reviews, Matthew Vollono.

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