SKYLINE If the twist isnt that the aliens are just a race of giant vacuum cleaners Im gonna be disappointed.
  • SKYLINE If the twist isn’t that the aliens are just a race of giant vacuum cleaners, I’m gonna be disappointed.

Opening today is the alien-invasion flick Skyline, a film that’s supposedly so similar to this spring’s alien-invasion flick Battle: Los Angeles that Sony tried to sue Skyline‘s filmmakers. Even so, and because I like both aliens and invasions, I was gonna go to the press screening of Skyline so I could review it for you guys. Then I remembered two things:

1) There weren’t any press screenings for Skyline, perhaps because it’s getting early fanboy reviews like these, and

2) Skyline was directed by the same guys who made this goddamn thing, and fuck that

BUT ANYWAYS, I’m hearing that Skyline as an ass-clenchingly awful twist ending that I am incredibly curious about. Ever since Dungeons & Dragons—a film that suddenly and inexplicably ends with all of the major characters turning into magical glowing orbs and flying away—I have been delighted by terrible movie endings, and it sounds like Skyline might have one to offer. But I really don’t want to sit through the whole movie to see what that awful ending is, so—in a contest that’s sure to earn me the ire of at least one movie publicist—I’m asking anyone who’s seen Skyline to spoil its ending for me. Whoever uses this post’s comment thread to spoil Skyline‘s ending in the most entertaining manner wins a rental VHS copy of Dungeons & Dragons Mazes and Monsters, which yes, for some stupid reason, I own.

IN OTHER ALIEN-INVASION MOVIE NEWS, Sony just so happened to release its Battle: Los Angeles trailer on the very same day Skyline came out. (Nice work, you passive-aggressive bastards!) Now, it might just be my predilection for aliens and invasions, but I think it looks fucking awesome. AND it comes out on my birthday, which obviously means God made this movie special, just for me. Thanks God!

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

8 replies on “<i>Battle: Los Angeles</i> Looks Awesome, and Also Will Someone Please Spoil the Ending of <i>Skyline</i> for Me?”

  2. Haven’t seen it, but read an online spoiler that it was actually the Rapture – people abducted earlier now come back as alien/angels to reform the planet into their own alien/angel Biblical paradise.

  3. No ridiculous twist. The character gets half sucked up by an alien tractor beam that apparently results in him getting super powers. Then at the end he gets his brain put in on alien robot (as the aliens were abducting people to use their brains to power slave robots) but he’s still in command of his faculties. He takes off in his new alien robot body, saves his pregnant girlfriend and fights off the evil alien robots over the credits.

  5. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum fly the captured alien fighter into the mothership and using a 1995 Macintosh laptop, upload a computer virus that disables the shields on all the alien space craft around the world. Meanwhile President Bill Pullman gives an impassioned speech to the remaining American fighter pilots (and that old crop-duster guy) and then flys into battle with them as they fire missles into the blueish-green parts of spaceship. In the end the old crop duster guy flys his plane into Canada to defeat the Hollywood Star Whackers. The End.

  7. Long before there were “UFOs”, there were “flying saucers” which were far more believeable since, following World War Two and the advent of the nuclear age, there was real reason to believe they existed. So much so that the Air Force was swamped with reports in the late 40s and early 50s, prompting official investigation and response. For never before published online newspaper articles and photos, see:

    Project Saucer

    http://spinelessjellyfish.com/flyingsaucer&hellip;

  8. It ends with getting sucked up, the girl watches her guy get decapitated. The aliens see she’s pregnant and drag her off. Meanwhile the aliens/robots are shown eating all these blue brains. One grabs a red one, which is his(throughout the movie he gets real strong and says he’s changing)which explains why his brain is different, somehow the light mutated him. The alien eats his brain and starts convulsing then he takes over. He hears his girl scream and goes and saves her, does signature face touch like travolta used in face-off. She realizes its him, credits roll all the while showing still pics of him fighting aliens. It stops after that leaving you to wonder if he wins/loses, saves/destroys earth, just ends like sopranos.

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