IDIOTS MIGHT GRIN when they see a fiery-eyed, supernatural Peter Dinklage give a knowing smile while avenging his bloody death at the teeth and talons of a hell-spawned succubus near the end of Knights of Badassdom. (Whoops! Spoiler alert!) He’s a badass in Game of Thrones! And now he’s a badass in a movie about live-action role-playing! How perfect!
But that’s an accident. A stupid accident. Knights of Badassdom was shot almost three years ago, before the benefit of a thematic tie-in with a far superior product. And until it was summoned forth, it had been left to rot in the Negative Material Plane of Tinseltown. Where it belongs.
Knights of Badassdom doesn’t know what kind of campy movie it wants to be. It starts off with promise, as the world is ready for a poke at role-playing nerds done with nuance, intelligence, and some in-the-know affection. But the gags (I laughed maybe twice during the whole movie, and I don’t even remember what at) never get any deeper than sissy/masturbation/thee-thou-verily riffs.
Then the whole thing lurches between a stoner-style breakup comedy and gore fest, both lacking cleverness. The occult business comes after an insecure wannabe wizard (Steve Zahn) overreaches by using a real-life occult spell book to summon a demon—except the demon looks just like his heartbroken friend’s ex-girlfriend. I got so bored, I dozed off during the big battle at the end.
And yet, almost in spite of itself, Knights still does two things okay: Firefly‘s Summer Glau plays the toughest, smartest, and most fearless character in the whole movie, and True Blood‘s Ryan Kwanten is a pretty wicked metal singer. Metal winds up saving the day when Dinklage can’t. If only it could have saved this shitshow of a movie.
Since this writer can’t seem to understand that a spoiler alert goes BEFORE the spoiler, I’m just going to have to regard his byline as a spoiler alert and avoid reading anything beyond that.
No, I understand. It was on purpose.
“No, I understand. It was on purpose.” I wish I’d seen that this was posted by the same writer. Otherwise I would have avoided such idiocy.
If you’re going to review anything, you’d better understand this: You do not spoil. Not even if you don’t like the film or the book or anything. The arrogance of spoiling is beyond comprehension, shows a lack of respect for the reader as well as for the film, and negates any valid observation you might possibly hope to make.
Hey dog, the whole point was to show a lack of respect to “Knights of Badassdom”.
If you were really going to watch that and the spoiler in anyway “ruined” the movie for you, then I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time your film preferences have been disrespected.
i dunno, this review actually makes me want to see it now.
Exactly, its actually a pretty good film.
“Exactly, it’s actually a pretty good film.” This illustrates my point. Whether or not you like a film is subjective. If you don’t respect the film, okay, but spoiling shows disrespect for the reader who may have a very different opinion.
There were reviewers in 1980 who hated the entire ‘Star Wars’ phenomenon, as I recall. That didn’t entitle them to reveal to readers that Darth Vader was Luke’s father. (Whoops! Spoiler alert! Too late!)
Robert, keep in mind that the spoiler in question here is that a dude fights a dragon. That’s it.