The 6th Day
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a goose-steppin’ kraut who gets his Aryan panties in a bunch when scientists clone his Nazi rat bastard ass. Lloyd Mall
* Aaron Cohen’s Debut
On the last night of his life, Aaron Cohen is whisked away to a jail cell and a Kafkaesque nightmare. Hollywood Theatre
All the Pretty Horses
What could possibly have prompted Columbia to invest millions buying the rights to Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses, pick up a box-office star in Matt Damon, and a hot new director in Billy Bob Thornton, and then sell off the domestic distribution to Miramax? Why has Miramax in turn slipped it into theaters on Christmas Day with minimal fanfare? Could it have anything to do with the year that Thornton spent “fine-tuning” his edit, or the assurance on their part that most reviews would turn out negative (as have the advance ones)? Whatever the reasons, it might be worthwhile to slip away from the family on Christmas Day and find out; contemplating the obnoxious greed and belligerent, stupefying ignorance that is Hollywood is always more entertaining than being stuck with your family’s far more tawdry dysfunctions. (Bruce Reid) Washington Square Center
* Alma
A Ruth Leitman documentary about the hilarious adventures of a dysfunctional and disturbing Southern family. Clinton Street Theatre, Clinton Street Theatre
Anti-Trust
Tim Robbins plays a thinly veiled Bill Gates in this high tech software/corporate esionage thriller. Needless to say, I’m all for anyone that wants to take a stab at Bill Gates, but this film just can’t seem to hit the mark. Anti-trust is so neither here nor there that I am inclined to not even take issue with its intentions… but, what the hell, I’m all for criticizing intentions. The Hollywood big budget treatment (complete with the cavalcade of everyone’s favorite beautiful young stars and a never-ending stream of the usual product placements) voids any statement that could be made by the “CEO of software corporation as enemy” plot. Like when you smiled at the closing of Meg Ryan’s store in You’ve Got Mail, just because she used AOL and went to Starbucks every day. For fairness’ sake, let me also say this: If you just want to see superstar hotties Ryan Phillippe, Rachael Leigh Cooke and Claire Forlani act out this tangled web of deceit, romance, and suspense, and you don’t want to think about the evils of corporations, then forget it . . . you’ll probably enjoy Anti-trust quite a bit. (Pablo de Ocampo) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Westgate, Wilsonville
* Beau Travail
Claire Denis’ latest film about men in the French Foreign Legion performing rituals in the desert. Loosely based on Herman Melville’s Billy Budd. Laurelhurst Theater
Berlin Cinema
A cinematic journey through new Berlin with Wim Wenders and Jean-Luc Goddard. Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium
* Best In Show
Christopher Guest’s latest with Eugene Levy follows several dog owners on their quest for the blue ribbon at the 2000 Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. A well-executed, ridiculous little film lovingly mining ridiculous little people’s ridiculous little lives. Cinemagic, Lloyd Mall
Billy Elliot
An ADORABLE film about a SWEET boy who wants to DANCE instead of mine coal. Lloyd Mall
* Born to Lose
A dark, raw portrait of the NYC punk underground, and in particular, the mysterious demise of cult superstar Johnny Thunder. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
Cast Away
Have you seen the trailer for this movie? Then you have seen the ENTIRE movie, from opening to final shot. Admittedly, there are some engrossing moments (which interestingly involve Tom Hanks writhing in pain), but other than watching its main character puzzling through dire predictaments, there is little reason to care if this guy gets off his island or not. Plus, Helen Hunt is in it. Ughhh!! (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John’s Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Westgate, Wilsonville
* Charlie’s Angels
I swore it could never be done, but somehow they’ve taken one of the worst shows in TV history, put in two of the worst actors in Hollywood (Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz), and come up with a comedic gem–and dare I say it?–one of the most hilarious films of the year. In this updated version of the TV show, director McG tips his hat to the classic T&A detective show of the ’70s and then has a field day tearing each of its conventions down. The cast is uniformly terrific, especially Cameron Diaz, who plays her role like a giggly, girlish sociopath. (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater, Edgefield Powerstation, Kennedy School Theatre, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater
Chocolat
Today I’m not weak. The film critic in me has control over my emotions; it can and will repress my wolflike desire to fill this review with hungry words that praise the celestial beauty of Juliette Binoche. That being said, the movie itself is unremarkable, and has absolutely nothing new to offer: Yes, organized religion is oppressive; yes, uncouth village drunks beat their wives; yes, Gypsies love to play Duke Ellington’s “Caravan” on their guitars. As for South America, of course it has many mysteries, and Europe, senescent and dreary Europe, has no mysteries at all. Finally, women are more spirited, more earthy, than men. These are not new themes. We have seen them in one form or another in movies ranging from Like Water for Chocolate to Pleasantville. (Charles Mudede) Century Eastport 16, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas
* Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Legendary warrior Chow Yun Fat can never declare his love for fellow martial-arts expert Michelle Yeoh. Instead, he entrusts her with Green Destiny, his nearly magical sword. But in the dark of night a hooded thief steals it, which leads to a fight held mostly in midair. An attempt to wed emotionally reticent drama with the exhilarating freedom of Hong Kong-genre filmmaking, but director Ang Lee can’t quite pull off the combination; for too long a time, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon‘s shifting gears only jam. The film finds its rhythm and earns the accolades it has received once it leaves the stars behind and gives its heart over to the young and engaging Zhang Ziyi, as the aristocratic daughter of privilege who opts instead for the dangerous yet thrilling occupation of thief. (Bruce Reid) Century Eastport 16, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas, Tigard Cinemas
* dada dada dada dada
Classic silent dada and surreal films with musical accompaniment by–YOU! Bring the weird instrument of your choice. Clinton Street Theatre
Double Take
The “7-Up Yours” guy and that fellow from the UPN show with Theo Huxtable get in some deep doo-doo and run off to Mexico. 82nd Avenue, City Center 12, Division Street, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Westgate
* The Dybbuk
In a Polish shtetl, two children are bethrothed to one another at childbirth, but are separated as adults. Hollywood Theatre
El Rey De Rock ‘N’ Roll
A documentary featuring the hilarious Latino Elvis impersonator, El Vez. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
The Emperor’s New Groove
The new Disney animated feature in which a greedy emperor is turned into a nude llama to learn some humility. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Washington Square Center, Wilsonville
The Family Man
The first half of this movie is funny. Nicholas Cage, a fastidious, fabulously wealthy arbitrageur, is magicked into a lower-middle-class schlumph. (Barley Blair) Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Wilsonville
Finding Forrester
A kid from the Bronx excels at both basketball and composition, befriends a hermit writer, undergoes a crisis from which the writer must extract him, thereby helping the writer overcome his own reclusive blah blah blah. Sean Connery wrote the Great American Novel and he never goes out now, except he will go out to watch a baseball game–well, he always used to watch baseball. Well yes, he watches basketball out the window now, but then he and his brother—oh, did I forget to say he had a brother? Well, he had one, and anyway, F. Murray Abraham tried to publish a critical book—no, F. Murray Abraham isn’t the brother, he’s a teacher. Yes, he’s teaching at the school where the kid-well, okay, I guess I should have said that the kid gets into this snobby day school…. It goes on like that. (Barley Blair) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Moreland Theater, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas
Frank & Ella
Ella Fitzgerald sings along with Frank Sinatra in this installment of his short-lived TV show. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater, Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium
The Gift
The Gift is about a woman, Annie Wilson (Cate Blanchett), who has a special and unusual gift: She’s psychic. She uses this gift to help the community. Then! She starts seeing bad stuff. A murder occurs. She uses her gift to solve the murder. It’s just plain weird that Blanchett took this role; she’s a beautiful lead in any film, but she does not save films. And she especially can’t save this one. (Paula Gilovich) 82nd Avenue, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas
* Girl on the Bridge
A ravishing, breezily paced tale of amour fou, Girl on the Bridge stars Daniel Auteuil as a Svengali-like knife-thrower who meets his perfect foil in Vanessa Paradis’ Adele. What makes the film great, though, is Leconte’s feel for the effect of place on people: The roads are beckoning, Monte Carlo is impulsive, and Istanbul is confusion itself. Auteuil is never less than his dour self, and Paradis–a gap-toothed woman, it’s worth noting–is stunning throughout. Laurelhurst Theater
* A Hard Day’s Night
A Film Review for Those Who Love the Beatles: Of course you’re going to go see A Hard Day’s Night, the wonderful movie about the Beatles made by Richard Lester in 1964 and rereleased in a glorious new print, as crisp and tasty as fresh lettuce–you’d be daft not to. (Barley Blair) A Film Review for Those Who Hate the Beatles: Look. If you want to keep encouraging corporate America to keep beating the dead horse that is the Beatles, thereby forcing the rest of us to endure countless hours of radio air-time devoted to these barely passable musical hacks, then by all means do so. But may I invite you to rot in hell. (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Tigard-Joy Theater
I’m the One that I Want
Margaret Cho isn’t a particularly insightful comic, but she sure knows how to go after a laugh. What’s funny here is gleefully, howlingly funny. Her personal emancipation, however, doesn’t quite flow freely from the rest of her material; the show strains whenever she stops to hit a nail on the head. (Steve Wiecking) Hollywood Theatre
Into the Arms of Strangers
A powerful documentary about the Holocaust, in which parents were forced to send their children away on the eve of Nazi occupation. Hollywood Theatre
Jazzman from the Gulag
Jazz trumpeter Eddie Rosner flees from the Nazis, only to be persecuted by American anti-semites. Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium
Jewish Reflections: A Program of Shorts
Short films by a host of international directors on the subject of Judaism. Hollywood Theatre
Meet the Parents
Jewish complications ensue when Ben Stiller meets grumpy father-in-law Bobby DeNiro. Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater, Kennedy School Theatre, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater
Men Of Honor
A biopic about the first black underwater salvage expert that soaks Robert De Niro, sinks China Gooding, and drowns the audience with every cliche of the military movie genre, never mind that they all contradict each other. (Barley Blair) Kiggins Theater, Mt. Hood Theater
Miss Congeniality
If a movie about the F.B.I. infiltrating a beauty pageant stars Sandra Bullock and Michael Caine, but all anyone is looking forward to is William Shatner’s hammy turn as a tacky host, isn’t it time for Hollywood to rethink its priorities? On the upside, perhaps this role as a beauty pageant contestant will persuade Miss Bullock to finally invest in some mustache bleach. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville
The New Klezmorim: Voices Inside the Revival of Yiddish Music
Punk can go around bragging that it’s “not dead” after a couple of stupid decades, but klezmer music has survived for centuries. Whatever! This documentary takes you to the heart of the KlezKanada festival, where klezmer-lovers gather to make and appreciate this hauntingly beautiful, traditional Yiddish music. (Just don’t forget the underground, where klezmer’s been alive and well all along with awesome groups like Hasidic New Wave and the Klezmatics!) (Julianne Shepherd) Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
* Non-Stop
Take three losers–a would-be bank robber, a convenience store clerk with rock ‘n’ roll aspirations, and an incompetent bodyguard. Involve them in a plot that also includes a missing gun, a toy gun, big knives, short swords, gangster groups, a car full of cops, and a gauze mask. Satirize all the movies that all of these movie characters wish they were in. That’s the task that Sabu set for himself when he wrote and directed Non-Stop. It takes six seconds–seven, tops–to realize that you’re in the hands of a competent filmmaker. So stop reading right now and just go see it. (Barley Blair) Hollywood Theatre
* O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Set in Depression-era Mississippi, George Clooney stars as Everett Ulysses McGill, a suave and well-groomed petty criminal doing hard time on a chain gang. Shackled to Pete (John Turturro) and Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson), he convinces them to join him in escaping by promising to split a fortune in buried treasure with them. O Brother, Where Art Thou? is a road movie, and in acknowledgment of that, the Coen brothers claim it was based on the granddaddy of all road pictures, The Odyssey, by Homer. But the true inspiration for the movie is the music. T-Bone Burnett has collected all sorts of music from the era and from the region, and it’s a joy to hear so much bluegrass in a major motion picture. The buoyant music and ham-handed performances are enough to lift anyone’s spirits. (Andy Spletzer) Century Eastport 16, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower 10, Tigard Cinemas
On Tiptoe
This film chronicles the career of South African super-group, Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
Panic
Nothing is particularly revolutionary about this movie. But it’s more effective than previous movies with the same notion. It is deeply disturbing because it rings so true to real life. Panic demonstrates how easy it is to brainwash people into apathy, and echoes the same messages brought up in all those Death-by-Suburbia movies like Fight Club and The Virgin Suicides, except it doesn’t hit you over the head. Panic is Fight Club on a much smaller, more poignant scale: one person’s intimate psychology. See review this issue. Cinema 21
Pay it Forward
After having been instructed by his social studies teacher to make the world a more benevolent place, Haley Joel Osment starts at the bottom, where the bums live amid burning oil cans, of course. About five minutes into his effort, Osment thinks he’s failed and that the world is, in fact, shit. It’s a performance that’ll probably earn somebody an Oscar, but it just made me feel like kicking a kid in the teeth. (Kathleen Wilson) Laurelhurst Theater
The Pledge
Crossing Guard II: With a Vengeance starring Jack “I’m Not Dead Yet!” Nicholson. Cinema 99, Division Street, Eastgate, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville
Quills
Quills is loosely (very loosely) based upon the latter years of the Marquis de Sade’s life. Shortly after the French Revolution, de Sade resides locked away in the Charenton mental hospital where he is allowed, briefly, to continue writing his pornographic prose. Though meant for private consumption only, the writings are secreted out of Charenton by the laundry maid, Madeleine (Kate Winslet), and their popularity on the streets of France causes outraged apoplexy among the powers that be. Unfortunately, the film seeks to rehabilitate de Sade’s image into that of Brave Soldier in the Noble Battle against Hypocrisy. Which not only flattens and dulls the film’s subject, it also makes for one hell of a hypocritical movie in its own right. (Bruce Reid) Lake Twin Cinema, Westgate
The Ralph Stanley Story
A documentary on the origins of bluegrass, featuring Appalachian musicians, the Stanley Brothers. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
Rebel Music: The Bob Marley Story
Jeremy Marre takes a fascinating look at the life of reggae great, Bob Marley. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
Red Planet
Humankind seems to be absolutely screwed for this one reason: When in trouble, we send Val Kilmer to save us. Even if you can grin-and-bear that we would we send a half-dozen nitwits and a malfunctioning robot to colonize Mars, the action never really kicks in. Lloyd Mall
* Red76 Film Scoring Series
It’s a rare chance to see great Portland musicians score silent films. The first night, see Der Golem, a series of shorts by George Melies, and Monkey’s Teeth. On night two, featured works include Microcosmos, Andy Warhol’s Kiss, and Swamp Thing, with hand-painted frames by Portland’s own Philip Cooper. See Up & Coming Medicine Hat Gallery
Remember the Titans
Denzel Washington coaches a bi-racial high school football team. Will they win the big game? Or more importantly, will they have any nudie locker room scenes? Avalon Theatre, Edgefield Powerstation, Kennedy School Theatre, Lloyd Mall, Mt. Hood Theater
* Requiem for a Dream
The yuks keep flying in this Disney-produced user’s manual for heroin addiction. Laurelhurst Theater
Save the Last Dance
Finally! A multi-racial Dirty Dancing! A midwestern honky moves to the big city, and hooks up with a smooth talking brutha from the South Side. Are we all clear on this? Great. EVERYBODY DANCE! Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville
Searching for Jimi
After filming Hendrix’ performance at Monterey over 30 years ago, these filmmakers continue their exploration through interviews with contemporary artists. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
The Shield Around the K
This documentary about the origin of K Records might as well be titled “We Heart Calvin.” It’s extremely reverent of K/Beat Happening/Indie Rock Grand Marshall Calvin Johnson, while K’s co-founder, Candace Pedersen, gets about two seconds of airtime in the whole movie. (It doesn’t even tell us how she got involved with the label!) To be fair, indie pop owes Calvin a lot, and fans of K and its original bands (Beat Happening, Mecca Normal, the Crabs, Lois, Tiger Trap) will revel in the great live footage of early shows. But if you already know lots about indie music, prefer objectivity, and/or ever had to seek refuge from the hyper-snotty (yet painfully adorable!) Oly SCENE, this movie will probably kind of gross you out. (Julianne Shepherd) Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater
Snatch
Guy Ritchie (a.k.a. Mr. Madonna) knows how to use a camera like nobody else. Too bad he doesn’t know how to make a film. Though I betray myself as being totally unhip, I thought his first movie, Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels, was kind of weak, and not only has he not learned anything about storytelling since making it, he seems to have forgotten what he already knew. Snatch is a hollow canister of celluloid. I have to admit, though, it’s sure pretty. Full of quick-cuts, clever editing, and huge fistfuls of style, you could just stare at Snatch for hours and marvel at how nice it looks. And the way Ritchie uses pop music like Massive Attack and Oasis–hell, get this guy making music videos. Unfortunately, once you wipe away the glitter, there isn’t much left. The Ritchie technique is clear: heaps of colorful characters walking around in nicely lit areas doing nasty things, throw in a few twists, pile on a few more characters and a lot more nasty things, a couple more twists, and then you’re done. Along the way, Ritchie forgot about substance, and he certainly forgot about anything like redemption. This is a dangerously nihilistic film where people are merely amusing, never good, where one may survive, but only by stepping over the bodies. You have to wonder how dark the British streets really are, because next to this, America’s celluloid gangsters are pussycats. When you giggle as people die in this picture, ask yourself why, because you just might find you’re a sick fuck. See review this issue. (Jamie S. Rich) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, City Center 12, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV
* State and Main
Alec Baldwin, William H. Macy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and David Paymer descend on a small Vermont town to make a movie, bringing their sophisticated mores with them. The town end is held down by Charles Durning, Clark Gregg, Ricky Jay, Patti LuPone, Matt Malloy, Rebecca Pidgeon, and Julia Stiles… Do you begin to see a problem here? The cast is as fixedly big-city as a traffic jam. Though to tell you the truth, I was laughing too hard to worry about small inaccuracies. David Mamet has said that he was thinking of Preston Sturges when he put this film together, and it’s a worthy successor to the Master. (Barley Blair) Century Eastport 16, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas
Thirteen Days
You may enjoy this movie about the Cuban Missle Crisis, and that’s okay, but I want you to hate it too. Here’s what’s to enjoy: Bruce Greenwood as Jack Kennedy and Steven Culp as Bobby. Kevin Costner’s “Boston” accent that left me weak with laughter. Dylan Baker as Robert McNamara, rolling his eyes like a cow whose foot’s just been run over by a tractor. That’s pretty much it for the enjoyment. And why should you hate such an innocuous piece of fluff? You should hate anything–any work of art, any literature, any fiction, any history–that pretends there is an obvious answer to any serious question. David Self’s script tries to fool us into thinking there’s some serious moral reckoning at work by providing St. Jack with not one but two bad guys to slay: Curtis LeMay and Adlai Stevenson. Both parts are so glaringly, grotesquely unshaded as to amount to character assassination. (Barley Blair) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville
Traffic
Like a search engine laboring for information on “drug trade,” “Mexican cartel,” and “survival,” Traffic pulls together three remotely connected stories about users and dealers, both in high and low places. What makes Traffic the most sophisticated narrative structure so far in this new genre of story-telling is that it does not bother to link stories with overlapping characters, or even around seminal events. Instead, the characters gravitate around keywords: greed, loyalty, self-preservation. The result is a nervous and jumpy, yet broad-based, essay on drugs in North America. (Phil Busse) 82nd Avenue, Broadway Metroplex, City Center 12, Division Street, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas
Unbreakable
Given a blank check after The Sixth Sense, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has returned the studio’s largesse by delivering one of the worst films of the year. (Bruce Reid) 82nd Avenue, Washington Square Center
* Vertical Limit
Despite Hollywood’s sad attempt to re-create a version of reality, Vertical Limit is actually a fantasy-filled fishing story blown entirely out of proportion. Not only does it star Chris O’Donnell, it also throws out tragedy after tragedy, and you don’t feel bad about laughing at it. (Another bonus point!) You become trapped inside this product of a demented imagination, and soon, watching it becomes surprisingly fulfilling. (Megan Seling) 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Washington Square Center, Wilsonville
What Women Want
Mel Gibson stars as a man who can hear women’s innermost thoughts in this feminist remake of the David Cronenberg sci-fi thriller Scanners. Cinema 99, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Kiggins Theater, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John’s Theater, Washington Square Center, Westgate, Wilsonville
Wonder Boys
Any film that can make an audience stomach Michael Douglas is a minor accomplishment. Curtis Hanson’s film does more than that. In fact, it’s rather good. Laurelhurst Theater
* X-Ray Visions
A documentary about one of Portland’s favorite night-spots: the late, great X-Ray Cafe. Berbati’s Pan, Meow Meow