The 7th Voyage of Sinbad w/ The Ipcress File
When the princess is shrunken by an evil wizard, Sinbad must infiltrate a monster island to find a cure and prevent a war.

* Air Force One
I have to say that I re-fell in love with Harrison Ford–who plays the heroic president, kidnapped on Air Force One by some evil commie terrorists–after this movie. Oh, the brawny muscle! Gary Oldman, on the other hand, plays his worst role ever, and should never again attempt to compete for the title of biggest cheesecake. Harrsion’ll win it every time.

* Cinema Paradiso
If Fellini were to have directed Disney movies, we would have had this decades earlier. Director Giuseppe Tomatore spins his own cleaned up and emotionally skin-deep autobiography about life in post-WW II Italy. An endearing young boy constantly bothers a dottering old movie house projectionist until the elderly man relents and shows the young imp the trick of the trade. Director’s cut. Silver Screen Club members only.

Circut
The LA circuit-boy scene of hustling, designer drugs, body worship, and all night dance parties is explored unevenly by mixing elements of Trainspotting, Boogie Nights, 54, and American Gigolo. The sex scenes are hot, the acting is above average, but the plot holes and overall moralizing by the screenwriters left me feeling like I did a little too much Estacada crank. (Brian Brait)

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
How do you make a movie that mixes comic book animation with film, but still allows Jodie Foster to play a terrifying nun? Start by adapting a script from a novel about a ’70s Catholic school where boys read a whole lot of comic books. Add Todd MacFarlane (of Spawn fame) to handle the cartoon end. Finally, choose a title that will attract tons of crowds who expect to see ravenous priests working their magic. Serve chilled.

Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
An insufferably Lifetime adaptation of the insufferable Oprah novel about an intergenerational cabal of insufferable quasi-Southern Gothic ladies. Chock full of hugging, burnished flashbacks to the “Greatest Generation,” English grand dames choking on Cajun dialects, the bugbear of “repressed memories,” hugging, the enduring power of female friendships, curmudgeonly but loveable colored servants, hugging, stoic men in pleated slacks, and Sandra Bullock growing leathery and irrelevant before our very eyes. (Tamara Paris)

Enigma
A bunch of British math geniuses whose sole purpose was to crack German code spent the war sitting in a London mansion (Bletchley Park) and deciphering Shark, the most sophisticated type of cipher, sent from U boats. Rife with intrigue, Bletchley Park is the natural setting for the film Enigma. Dougray Scott plays Tom Jericho, the man who cracked Shark and subsequently had a nervous breakdown. Of course, his nervous breakdown isn’t due to the pressure of having to save thousands of lives just by stringing numbers together–no, Jericho has a nervous breakdown because he got dumped by the woman he loved. (Julianne Shepherd)

I Went to the Ball
An exploration of the intermingled histories of French Cajun music and Zydeco. Performances by Queen Ida, Marc, and Anne Savoy, etc.

Like Mike
The good news: Crispin Glover is in the film, playing the Fagin-like head of a “group home” for racially diverse orphans; this means the filmmakers aren’t completely callous morons. The bad news: The movie, which concerns a kid who climbs up on power lines to retrieve some magic Nikes that make him a pro basketball star, is every bit as mediocre and irresponsible as the trailer suggests. It’s insulting to kids, indefensible to parents, and abominable to everyone else. At one point fairly early on, I stopped taking notes on the film and just started noting the corporate logos I saw on screen. Here’s the list: Nike, Krispy Kreme, Staples, Gatorade, AT&T, TNT, NBC, Jansport, Minute Maid, Coke, Sprite, Sheraton, Crystal Geyser, Mars, Spalding, ESPN, Sharp, Rite Aid, Vicks, USA Today, Washington Mutual, Phat Farm, Scrabble, Yahoo, Independence Day (the movie). I may have missed a few… (Sean Nelson)

* Lola
Jaqcues Demy’s first film about the pain of lost romance. Lola is a cabaret dancer and single mom who, dodging a string of suitors, dreams of rekindling her love with the sailor who got her pregnant seven years earlier.

Men in Black II
Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith revisit their lucrative schtick (Jones’ is being gravelly and severe; Smith’s is ripping off everything Eddie Murphy ever did) in this multi-platform, fully cross-promotionalized sequel.

Minority Report
Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise team up for this well-made futuristic thriller, based on a story by Phillip K. Dick, and featuring several special effects that are identical to ones used in Attack of the Clones. Report works best when Tom Cruise is actually running–he’s a future crimes cop being set up to commit murder–and when the maddeningly glorious Samantha Morton is actually freaking out. Complex in good ways, simple in others, the film marks Spielberg’s second attempt at allegorical Kubrick paean (check the allusions to Clockwork Orange) that ends with a cop-out. Still, a worthy effort, and much more intriguing than most sci-fi.

* Monsoon Wedding
At first, it seems like Mira Nair is just doing family drama. The film is stylish, brisk, witty, and beautifully filmed (marigolds are so vibrant they would leave bright orange dust on your fingers if you touched them). But within the patchwork of marriage melodrama, Monsoon Wedding presents a subversive argument about the insidiousness of progress and its fluid relationship with tradition. Of course, it all comes out right in the end, but in getting to its satisfying resolution, it passes through so many uncomfortable revelations and unthinkable confrontations, that it almost feels like watching history unfold. (Sean Nelson)

Mr. Deeds
Adam Sandler is always cute, and his gross physical humor is funny, but Mr. Deeds is bad. A cliche plot and a crappy remake to boot, Sandler seems to be doing it for the dough. John Turturro, however, is awesome and sort of makes up for the overall crappiness of the film, but then Winona goes and fucks it up by being the worst actress ever. Expect nothing and you might be slightly pleased, but don’t expect any Billy Madison or (one of the best movies of all time, especially under the influence of marijuana) Happy Gilmore. Those days are gone. (Katie Shimer)

Muddy Waters
A documentary of performances and interviews with friends of Muddy Waters, considered the inventor of electric blues.

The Stepford Wives w/ The Ipcress File
One of the cinematic pillars of feminism. When a new couple moves to town, the peppy wife wonders why the other ladies are so icy and emotionless… hmmmn. The Ipcress File follows an espionage agent who must deal with crappy bureaucracy while trying to solve the mystery of brainwashed scientists.

* Sunshine State
This cinematic soap opera of familial and neighborly drama centers around a small stretch of Florida coastline. Employing writer/director Sayles’ benchmark standards for dialogue and acting, the film uses a tug of war over prime resort real estate to showcase prime human flaws and insecurities.

* The Powerpuff Girls Movie
This movie sets out to explain the suspicious circumstances by which Professor X (the ‘Puff Daddy) came to give room and board to three female preschoolers for whom he carries not so much as a birth certificate or a even a receipt–somewhat unsettling in these times of high-profile kidnapped white girls. See review this issue.

* The Town is Quiet
Set in Marseilles in 2000, Robert Guediguian’s latest film has several overlapping plot lines and interconnected characters whose circumstances and coincidences are meant to trigger deeper meanings on the fragility of life and peoples’ profound influence on one another See review this issue.

* Vengeance for Sale
A samurai comedy about a warrior who starts a “revenge for hire” business on his return home. When he hooks up with an old friend, however, he becomes involved in a plot against an old samurai with a mysterious identity.