Goddammit, avartards. Stop it. Credit: Via.
Goddammit, avartards. Stop it.
  • Via.
  • Goddammit, avartards. Stop it.

Hey, you didn’t already buy Avatar on Blu-ray, did you? Ha! Sucker! ‘Cause I just got a press release outlining this November’s version that boast three different cuts of the film, a huge array of special features, an—wait, what?

The three-disc Avatar Extended Collector’s Edition Blu-ray and Theatrical Special Edition Re-Release DVD will both feature the original theatrical release, a special edition re-release, family audio track with all objectionable language removed and new collector’s extended cut with sixteen more minutes including an exclusive alternate opening Earth scene.

That semi-hidden “family audio track” phrase is kinda weird, right? I saw Avatar a few times and can’t remember any swearing; I assume whatever’s in there is pretty minor, as it’s a PG-13 movie. Also, it just seems confusing: If Fox is going to do CleanFlicks’ job for them, it seems like maybe they should also cut out, I don’t know, the scene where the catpeople fuck. And also any scenes where anyone gets hurt. And also that part with all those explosions, to keep from frightening old people? Actually, is it too late to request a version that’s nothing but three hours of phosphorescent dandelion seeds magically floating around?

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

2 replies on “I Prefer My Catpeople Sex <i>with</i> Swearing, Thank You Very Much.”

  1. Does Blu-Ray allow for different subtitle fonts? Cuz, man how I hated Papryus being used for the theatrical release. Comic Sans would’ve been classier.

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