[Insert joke about penis size here.]
[Insert joke about penis size here.]
  • [Insert joke about penis size here.]

There’s a new trailer out for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. As FilmDrunk politely notes, it features a scene in which Jay Baruchel gets hit in the junk with some lightning—a fact that I’m fairly sure will accurately represent the finished film’s quality.

Still: THIS FILM FEATURES NICOLAS CAGE AS A SORCERER, WHICH MEANS I HAVE ALREADY PURCHASED ADVANCE TICKETS.

(Subject line aside, and as cool as the idea of being Nicolas Cage’s apprentice is, I kind of wish this movie was just called The Sorcerer and was only about Nicolas Cage plasma-bolting things. Basically, I guess I just want to see Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, except if Bad Lieutenant went to Hogwarts.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=sl3rnPOUn5o%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26rel%3D0

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

4 replies on “I Would Like to Be Nicolas Cage’s Apprentice!”

  1. I would also like to be Nicholas Cage’s apprentice. Or at least be in the same room when he zaps a dude right in the nards.

  2. I know! I was not in the least prepared for how funny Bad Lieutenant was. It MAY have made a Nic Cage convert out of me.

  3. Maybe there will be a sequel: Sorcerer’s Apprentices and we can all be in like a sorcerer gang. Kind of like Six Pack but with less pit crew stuff.

    Or more. Whichever.

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