BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN is sci-fi breakup sex. But in order to have broken up, there must’ve been a relationship first, so I’m gonna skip the “If you haven’t heard of Battlestar Galactica before…” part of the review. You saw the show. You had the relationship. And when it ended, you either thought showrunner Ronald D. Moore kissed you gently on your tear-stained cheek before running off with that slut Caprica, or you thought he cackled like Begbie in Trainspotting, booted you in the genitals, and shoved a broken bottle through your chest.
Directed by Adama himself (Edward James Olmos) and written by Jane Espenson (Joss Whedon’s manly side), The Plan is a beautifully shot, nicely paced, interesting, and totally unnecessary TV movie. It ostensibly details the ominous “plan” that Battlestar‘s opening credits insisted the Cylons had—unfortunately, and as was made obvious by the ending of the series, there never really was a plan to begin with. So Espenson fills out The Plan with a patchwork story that retells the first couple of seasons of the show from the point of view of John Cavil (Dean Stockwell).
The “interesting” part I mentioned earlier largely comes from seeing the full-scale assault on all the colonies when the Cylons attack humanity. It’s also cool to see Samuel Anders (Michael Trucco) progress from meathead jock to guerrilla warrior, and to realize that the Cylons’ inability to step on the neck of humanity apparently stems from the fact that humanity is just so damn cute.
Or, at least, that stuff is interesting the first time we see it: In the padded-out The Plan, we see the following repeated no less than five times: Cylon is ordered by Cavil to kill humans. Cylon gets emotionally involved. Cylon falls in love. Cylon botches plan. Cavil grumbles. The Plan sheds some light on some obscure plot machinations, but none of it’s new: All of this has happened before, all of it will happen again, and it’ll be intercut with new footage from older, tubbier cast members hoping the lighting will cover up that extra chin.
Why is a guy with the nickname “Fatboy” dissing actors for having double chins? I guess the nickname’s some of that trademark hipster irony I keep hearing about.
I apologize for my comments – I didn’t realize that I was being a prick and need my Internet connection taken away to curb my Troll-like behaviors.
@Cylon T: Fayboys moniker comes from the fact that as a boy he was fat. Now he’s not; thus giving him more license to mock the chubby than people who have just always been skinny.
I apologize for being a Troll – take my Internet away from me.
I think it is also that “Fatboy” is his [ex]radio name, where as less people know who Bobby Roberts is. (And regardless of if he is fat or not, “Fatboy is a perfect radio name, in the “has a face for radio” kind of way.)
And: No apology needed, the other people that have posted on this article are trolls too. They may be being less trollee at the moment, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’ll do far worse things than you’ve done here in other stories.
I am okay with this being breakup sex as I have not been laid by any SciFi in a good while.
I must have made someone quite mad to provoke them to imitate me twice. Must have been Bobby Roberts, or someone overly emotionally invested in him not being criticized.
Saw this last night. FUCKING LAME! WTF!? Other than the awesome attack on the colonies this might as well be a series of webisodes. Disjointed and not really worth being a movie unto itself. And whats up with the nudity? I’m no prude but whats the point of having a bunch of background extras walking around naked. And seriously Olmos? A fucking crash zoom onto some dude’s cock? PENIS! Why is there a cock penis on a show called Battlestar Galactica? I for one liked the ending of the series but this just left me scratching my head and asking “is that it?”