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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: A small group of people—oh, let’s say six or seven of them—are floating around somewhere up in space, when they learn they’re sharing their cramped quarters with a nasty, seemingly invulnerable alien that decides to take them out one by one.

Life cribs hard from the Alien playbook, so much so that I genuinely don’t know why they bothered making it. The alien in Life is a single-cell organism that astronauts find in a soil sample from Mars—but as it amasses nutrients, it grows into a cute little Swiffer type thing before swelling into a human-sized jellyfish/starfish squish-machine made of Purell.

Ned Lannamann is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. He writes about film, music, TV, books, travel, tech, food, drink, outdoors, and other things.