NOTE: The following trailer for the crazy action flick Mercenaries—another schlocky film from Asylum, the makers of Sharknado—does absolutely nothing to forward the movement of women’s rights. That being said, it’s really fun to see actresses stealing jobs from geriatric male stiffs like Arnold, Sly, and Bruce. From the Mercenaries press release:

A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandoes is assembled to infiltrate a women’s prison for a daring rescue. Starring Zöe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, Brigitte Nielsen, Nicole Bilderback, and Cynthia Rothrock.

That’s all I need to hear, thank you very much, roll the goddamn tape.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=//www.youtube.com/embed/uiE18U7to0M

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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