Cub Reporter Bares All!
Without scud missiles shelling Iraq and the absence of the O.J. trial, CNN ratings have slowly eroded over the past few years. In an effort to shore up primetime interest, the news network has hired the “star power” of Andrea Thompson–a former actress from a string of B-movies, Baywatch, and recently, NYPD Blue. Even before journalists around the world could emit a collective sigh, buck-naked pictures of Thompson began popping up on the internet. With those laser-beam eyes and that sharply chiseled face, she may look like a just-the-facts reporter–but, as it turns out, newscasting isn’t the only thing she’s good at…
A Gun, A Car, A Blonde (1998)– Imagining himself as a 1950s square-jawed
PI, a modern-day paraplegic (dying from spinal cancer) is able to escape his
misery and pain. With scenes and dialogue shamelessly (and purposely) stolen
from Bogart’s best detective flicks, the movie sends a tongue-in-cheek love
letter to classic noir films. Thompson, with a smoky voice like Double Indemnity’s
Barbara Stanwyck, plays the widowed damsel in distress. The movie also reunites
Billy Bob Thornton and John Ritter for the first time since their love affair
in Sling Blade.
Wall Street (1987)–This flick is appropriate training for anyone who
is selling their soul to Ted Turner. In this charming morality tale about ’80s
greed and ambition, Thompson plays a hooker (sans heart-of-gold) who happily
sells her sweet-thang to fresh-faced junk bond dealers like Charlie Sheen.
Manhattan Gigolo (1986)–We finally get to see what’s below the correspondent’s
desk, if you know what I mean. Hello, Virginia! Thompson gives a bravura performance
in this four-star porno gem, and at 18 minutes into the action, she deftly accommodates
two men as the camera fights to film every possible angle of her hoo-hoo. Excellent
training for the Yasser Arafat interview!