Swingers!
In the face of high divorce rates and a plethora of fantastically effective birth control methods, these days it seems more and more folks are scrapping the idea of marriage and monogamy altogether. The streets are teeming with youngsters acting just like their free-loving hippie parents, except with cleaner hair and better clothes. But before you go rubbing your goodies on whomever strikes your fancy, take a peek at these swingin’ flicks. Be tempted and be warned.
• Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)–This ’70s cult movie involves
a secret science project gone wrong. Through the power of bees, women are transformed
into irresistible sirens who terrorize the town, balling bored husbands to death,
then recruiting the dowdy, mourning housewives. All it takes to save their sagging
asses and laugh lines is a slathering of thick goop, a chamber of swarming bees,
and a simple cocooning! They emerge instantly back-combed and glossy, ready
to prey upon horny traitors just like their dead husbands. Honey, this is becoming
a pattern…
• The Lifestyle (1999)–This is an in-depth documentary about spousal
swapping in the suburbs of America. Avert your eyes if you’re seeking steamy
sex scenes. All you’ll find here is a lot of cellulite and big beer gut/shriveled
penis combos. Though you’ve got to hand it to the old folks for their vigorous
appetite, willingness to experiment with ceiling-mounted harnesses, and pre-orgy
potlucks. Admirably, there is no deception, jealousy, or shame in this hearty
sport-fucking community, as one man illustrates by cheering while another gentleman
vigorously porks his wife.
• Your Friends And Neighbors (1998)–A highly amusing portrayal of
yuppie social ineptitude, this film explores an awkward mix-and-match within
a relatively small circle of friends and acquaintances. After each couple’s
sexual shortcomings have been established, they set out to discover how bad
they suck in bed with other people. Over salads and white wine, the characters
struggle through all manner of infidelity. Inevitably they fuck themselves over
and/or lose their erections by getting all square and emotional about it.