EARLIER THIS WEEK, when Fox unceremoniously canceled
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the show’s fans could
at least console themselves with the knowledge that in a few days,
they’d be standing in line to see Terminator Salvation.
Salvation should have served as a bit of comfort—a sort of
geek-approved salve—for jilted Terminator nerds. But rather than
a salve, Salvation feels more like jagged chunks of rock salt,
ground into a fresh wound. In other words, it kinda blows.
Okay, “blows” might be too strong of a word—but goddammit,
I’m one of those aforementioned Terminator nerds, and I’m kinda
pissed. It’s not that Salvation is terrible—there have
been worse movies this summer, and there’ll certainly be more—but
it is flat, clunky, and depressingly underwhelming.
The lousiest part is that Terminator Salvation is full of
good ideas: Set the story in the future, in the midst of humanity’s war
against hyper-advanced machines? Good idea! (Too bad the war turns out
to be totally lame.) Cast Christian Bale as John Connor, “the
prophesized leader of the resistance”? Good idea! (Alas, prophecy or
no, it turns out future John Connor just isn’t a very cool character.)
Hire a supporting cast that includes Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton
Yelchin, and Helena Bonham Carter? Good idea! (The number of
interesting things these actors are allowed to do? Zero!) Give some
terminators wheels and turn ’em into badass robo-motorcycles? Good
idea! (But brace yourself for stupid “hydro-terminators” that slither
around underwater, and a giant, lumbering mecha-terminator that looks
like it accidentally wandered over from the set of
Transformers.)
Like all things Terminator, Salvation resides in the massive
shadow of genre auteur James Cameron, whose original The
Terminator (1984) was a love story disguised as a horror movie, and
whose sequel, 1991’s Terminator 2: Judgment Day, was a drama
disguised as a blockbuster action flick.
When Cameron left the series, we got our first shitty Terminator
film, Jonathan Mostow’s shiny, forgettable cash-in Terminator 3:
Rise of the Machines (2003). Luckily, Salvation‘s better
than that, thanks to some killer production design and Shane Hurlbut’s
impressive cinematography. But overall, Salvation isn’t quite a
sequel, and isn’t quite a reboot. It just sort of… is.
Director McG offers a ton of action sequences, all of them
bewilderingly bland; in between, John Brancato and Michael Ferris’
cluttered script stubbornly refuses to make sense. By the time McG
resorts to shoehorning in a cameo by a CG Arnold Schwarzenegger, the
bloodless Salvation has become something no other Terminator
film is: boring.
This will probably inspire a few eyerolls, but regardless: I’m a big
Terminator fan not because of the killer robots (which are, admittedly,
pretty fucking cool), but because of the characters who fight them. For
all their flashy special effects, genre clichés, and ludicrous
action sequences, Cameron’s surprisingly emo Terminator films (and
The Sarah Connor Chronicles, too, despite its missteps) told
stories not about murderous cyborgs, but about a mother desperately
trying to protect her son—and all of humanity—from an
apocalypse. The best Terminator stories are ones about desperate,
doomed people who are trying to survive; Salvation is just a
movie about shit blowing up.
Throughout Salvation, there are glimpses of a better movie:
Along with John Connor, one of the key roles is that of an ex-con,
Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington). Halfway through Salvation, we
discover what the filmmakers have been not-so-subtly hinting at: that
Marcus, unknown to himself, is actually a terminator. As Marcus
struggles to determine what role he has in this war, his story proves
to be roughly a billion times more interesting than John Connor’s. Had
Salvation focused more on Marcus, it could’ve ended up being
something new, weird, and exciting—and, if the angry, intense
charisma that Worthington gives Marcus is any indication, something
that could’ve tapped into the emotions that made Cameron’s Terminator
films unique and engaging.
But instead, we get a ramshackle story, heaps of wasted potential,
and a half-assed ending; like pre-programmed robots, we’re expected to
sit back and cheer when Bale says, “I’ll be back,” practically winking
at the camera as he does so. Considering Salvation is merely the
first film in a planned trilogy, that phrase somehow seems even more
ominous now than when an emotionless killing machine with a goofy
accent said it 25 years ago.
The original script didn’t have the character of John Connor in it. It was supposed to be about Marcus. Then Christian Bale had them add in John Connor because he felt he could do well with the role. Just imagine how great this movie could have been if Christian Bale wasn’t a douche!
Just imagine how great this movie could have been had they gone with a hard “R” film, atoned for that last aweful movie, & op`ed to treat potential viewers like ADULTS, instead of slapping together some summer “block-buster” mess meant to rank in as much dough as possible.
And what is the director’s REAL name? Anyone who’d be willing to watch something directed by “McG” is just asking for it!
I am so sad. SO SAD.
Fuck you McG.
I don’t an “R” rating would have saved this pile. The plot is all over the place. Bale bounces between pissed and sad panda. Just watch out for the shrieking eel robots. (People that watch the film will know EXACTLY what I mean).
If people are smart, they WON”T watch this film! I wouldn’t watch this garbage for free on-line! The T3 film was un-asked for. THIS current piece-o-crap was un-asked for. So far as i’m concerned, there are only 2 Terminator films; & they were both directed by some guy named James Cameron.
Good review, Erik. I still want to see it though. I mean, how often is Ironside up on the big screen?
@ Marq Young: It’s honestly like McG just said to him, “Hey, y’know that dude you played in Starship Troopers? Do that again!” And then McG ran around the set, insisting on giving everyone high fives. That’s his directing style.
Also, Michael Ironside looks weirdly like Jack Nicholson now, I guess?
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2935130112/nm0…
Terminator: Pretty Good
Terminator 2: Fucking Awesome
Terminator 3: Embarrassing Pile of Shit
Terminator 4: I’ll probably never watch it.
“Halfway through Salvation, we discover what the filmmakers have been not-so-subtly hinting at: that Marcus, unknown to himself, is actually a terminator.”
Well, actually we knew this way before the flick started rolling. The preview gave this away. Plus the preview really emphasized Marcus – so much so that I assumed he would be the major focal point.
I’ve really got to disagree with all the bitterness that’s coming out against this movie.
First, Marcus is an interesting character, and he got more screen time then Bale. I’m not sure how the movie could’ve focused more on him–he was pretty much the main character.
Furthermore, the film’s subversion of Cameron’s conventions–with Marcus as the time-traveling hero–were actually fairly smart. For example: when Kyle tells Marcus “Come with me if you want to live”, it’s not just a callback. By having the line delivered to the hero, instead of by him, the writer flips the convention and makes a comment about the film’s world. This movie was working on levels that I don’t think a lot of people are getting–and I think it’ll be more fondly remembered by history.
Also: fuck you. McG blows up shit good!
Saw it yesterday. It was ok but I went in with really low expectations (considering it was directed by McG). I was entertained but I left without really caring about the characters. Worth seeing once.
About half way through the movie I kept thinking “where are all the terminators?” I remember when T2 came out & couldn’t wait for a Terminator movie set in the dark gloomy future with hordes of killing machines wandering demolished human cities of the past. Part of the movie seemed to be a rip off of Mad Max all the way down to the little kid. Why did the deaf kid have such a big role in the movie? Why didn’t they focus more on Conner’s pregnant wife? What was the deal with Skynet? They could just walk right into Skynet. I envisioned Skynet being a heavily guarded machine fortress. Anyways, good special effects but movie lacked alot. In the end you walk out thinking “that’s it?”