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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2

8:00 CW SMALLVILLE

Another murderer escapes from the Phantom Zone (again??), but this time it’s Lil’ Bow Wow! AWESOME!

9:00 FOX THE O.C.

Season Premiere! Marissa’s dead… so why is everybody acting so goddamn morose?

9:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

A deadly virus puts the entire Cylon race in danger. Even the sexy ones??

8:00 SPIKE WHEN GOOD PETS GO BAD

Video clips of snappy alligators, rampaging elephants, and killer whales beating the crap out of their trainers.

9:00 VH1 TOTALLY AWESOME—Movie

(2006) Two Pennsylvania nobodies try to fit in with tubular California kids in this parody of ’80s-style teen comedies.

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

It’s the 17th annual “Treehouse of Horror,” featuring an alien invasion not unlike a certain other invasion we won’t mention. Which is to say… Iraq.

9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

A hostage situation in the supermarket causes panic; as well as a sale on Totino’s Pizza Rolls.

9:00 NBC HEROES

Hiro questions his ability to be a superhero. (Wearing something besides that hideous tracksuit might help.)

10:30 TVLAND I PITY THE FOOL

Mr. T helps a controlling dance teacher. This may be our only opportunity to see Mr. T in a tutu!

10:00 CW VERONICA MARS

Veronica gets accused of plagiarizing her criminology paper. Oh no, they didn’t!

9:00 FOX HOUSE

Dr. House is sent to jail overnight for a number of violations (including faking an American accent).

9:00 ABC LOST

Fall Finale! Lost is going on vacation for 13 WEEKS?! I’m in the wrong freaking business.

10:00 BRAVO TOP CHEF

The chefs are instructed to make an entirely vegan meal—wait. Bacon’s vegan, right?