THURSDAY, JAN 22 8:00 VH1 MOULIN ROUGE–Movie (2001) Nicole Kidman stars in this seizure-inducing tribute to the famous Paris whorehouse.
8:30 NBC WILL & GRACE A rich plastic surgeon uses money to lure Will into making gay whoopee.
FRIDAY, JAN 23 8:00 HBO REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER The funniest political program (outside The Daily Show) takes on the Democratic candidates.
10:30 MTV VIVA LA BAM Bam is largely successful in driving papa Phil insane after building a skatepark inside the house.
SATURDAY, JAN 24 9:00 TVLAND SANFORD & SON In a very special episode, Lamont tries to cure Fred of his debilitating addictionÉ to television.
10:00 FOOD IRON CHEF Chef Miyamoto is forced to overcome his intolerance to lactose in order to win today’s challenge–BATTLE MILK.
SUNDAY, JAN 25 8:00 NBC THE GOLDEN GLOBES A bunch of critics/nerds spends three hours creaming their jeans over The Lord of the Rings.
9:00 WB THE SURREAL LIFE Trishelle tries to tongue-kiss Vanilla Ice, and a visiting psychic lets her know she will be largely successful.
9:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Michael orders a publicist to give the Bluth family an “image makeover”–the results are less than satisfactory.
MONDAY, JAN 26 9:00 FOX MY BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS FIANCE The family flips their wigs when Randi and her big fat obnoxious fiancé invite them to their sex therapy session.
TUESDAY, JAN 27 9:00 NBC NEW HAMPSHIRE PRIMARY The Democrats of New Hampshire make their choice for who’s the cutest candidate of all! (And who might make a good President.)
9:00 FOX 24 Jack and the Salazars fight to regain the killer virus; Tony Almeida takes off his shirt. Rrrrowrrrr.
WEDNESDAY, JAN 28 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE For reasons unknown, Clark and Lana try to kill Chloe (although we suspect it’s to get her to shut her big pie-hole).
8:00 NBC THE APPRENTICE Donald Trump makes the contestants work in a busy New York restaurant, and then takes particular glee in firing them.