THURSDAY, JULY 15 10:00 ESPN2 2004 HOT DOG EATING CONTEST Contestants from around the globe compete for the glorious title of “that fat guy who can cram 27 hot dogs down his gullet.” 10:00 GSN KENNY VS. SPENNY Don’t miss this hee-larious show about two best friends competing in the most stoopid contests ever invented!
FRIDAY, JULY 16 8:30 WB GROUNDED FOR LIFE Sean flips his wig after learning that his daughter Lily and her b-friend Brad have engaged in sexual coitus. 9:00 DSC AMERICAN CHOPPER The gang builds a special I, Robot chopper for actor Will Smith, which is designed to look cool and destroy all humans.
SATURDAY, JULY 17 7:00 SCIFI PITCH BLACK–Movie (2001) Vin Diesel helps the inhabitants of a crashed spaceship battle nocturnal ass-biting monsters. 8:30 FOX COPS Laugh along with Cops in this special “all-stupid criminals” episode (“stupid” meaning the ones they could catch).
SUNDAY, JULY 18 8:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Gob and Lindsay accuse Michael of being stingy and uncharitable (which he is, along with being a jerk and a pee-hole). 9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER Nate continues his long descent into insanity, and tries to convince the family that Lisa isn’t really dead.
MONDAY, JULY 19 10:30 COM RENO 911! It’s a war between the departments when the local fire department schedules their pancake dinner the same night as the policeman’s ball!
TUESDAY, JULY 20 10:00 SPIKE THE JOE SCHMO SHOW The second season of this fakey reality show is funnier than ever, so tune in NOW! 10:00 FX NIP/TUCK Christian must bring all of his plastic surgery talents to bear when his partner Sean pops a zit.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 21 8:00 TRAV VEGAS CHALLENGE Four gambling addicts go head to head in a variety of casino games; the winner doesn’t get their legs broken. 9:00 FOX THE SIMPLE LIFE 2 Paris and Nicole try to make it 24 hours without uttering a profanity, which is difficult when your entire life is a profanity.