THURSDAY, JULY 13
8:00 WB SMALLVILLE
The poop hits the fan in this critical repeat where Clark stupidly reveals his secret to Lana.
9:30 FX IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
A mugging inspires the gang to take steroids and join an underground fight club.
FRIDAY, JULY 14
8:00 SCI THE SCIENCE OF STARGATE SG-1
An in-depth look at the science behind the series, which also reveals you are the BIGGEST NERD IN THE WORLD.
SATURDAY, JULY 15
8:00 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
The homoerotic wrestlers of the WWE return to NBC for more man-on-man lovin’.
8:00 WB AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN—Movie
(1982) A jerky naval recruit (Richard Gere) becomes a man after getting yelled at by Louis Gossett Jr., and boning Debra Winger.
SUNDAY, JULY 16
8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER: ALL-STARS
The housemates spend the day exchanging crabs.
10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
Vince gets all artsy-fartsy and puts his Aquaman sequel in danger!
MONDAY, JULY 17
9:00 FOX HELL’S KITCHEN
The two teams create their own menus—with “cereal and milk” as the main entrée.
9:00 A&E DRIVING FORCE
Debut! NASCAR racer John Force tries to reconnect with his estranged daughters in this new hot-roddin’ reality series.
TUESDAY, JULY 18
9:00 ABC THE ONE: MAKING OF A MUSIC STAR
Debut! Eleven musicians compete and study at a music academy… zzzzzzzz… huh? Wha?? WHERE AM I???
9:00 SCI EUREKA
Debut! A new sheriff discovers his town is full of geniuses working for the government.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 19
8:00 CBS ROCKSTAR: SUPERNOVA
The rock stars try to out-rock each other in a “binge drinking and heroin shooting” competition.
11:00 BRAVO WORK OUT
Debut! Behind the scenes of a fancy-pantsy celebrity fitness salon. They should call it “Anorexics ‘R’ Us”!
