Now you may be asking yourself, “Why would I want to watch the new and improved trailer (vs. the old teaser) for Piranha 3D? I hate 3D, and I hate piranhas.” Well, I have 10 words for you: Elisabeth Shue Richard Dreyfuss Jerry O’Connell Ving Rhames Christopher Lloyd! (And even better? Christopher Lloyd is playing every character Christopher Lloyd has ever played!) PLUS!! The piranhas’ victims are half-nude drunk frat boys and despisable sorority girls on Spring Break. Which means the camera will linger on all the sexy bits before the piranhas bite them off!
“Okay! Okay!” I hear you say. “You had me at Shue!”

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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