It’s not every day you hear a gunshot ring out in the Mercury offices… it’s more like every other day. But today when I heard a tell-tale BLAM!!, I had a couple of minutes to spare, so I decided to investigate… and yep! It was senior editor Erik Henriksen with a bullet lodged in his temple, face down on his computer (actually OUR computer—his relatives owes us $3000 for blood damage).

After calling the cleaning crew, I was just about to get back to work… but. For some reason I was curious—again, had a couple of minutes to spare—so I checked out his computer to see if he had witnessed something that caused him to take his own life. It was this:

Britney Spears singing a song from Smurfs 2 called “Ooh La La,” which co-stars her actual sons. (Before perishing, Erik scrawled the following message in blood on his desk: “ONE OF HER KIDS IS WEARING A CATCHER IN THE RYE SHIRT.”)

So I watched the entire thing, and… wow. Yeah, it’s pretty bad. OH WELL! Back to work.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

10 replies on “Why Erik Henriksen Shot Himself in the Head”

  1. You just know he secretly loves it!
    Poor kid, can’t tell anyone either. The shame he would face, the ribbing he would get at the office…..
    We still respect you man.

  2. I AM STANDING IN DEFENSE OF THIS VIDEO. If you want old dead-behind-the-eyes Britney back, just go ahead and dream, but this is obviously aimed at kids (because, you know, Smurfs), and it’s cute, and she seems happy with her sons, so WHATEVER, YOU GUYS.

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