Dear gamblin’ crackhead woman,
you shameful opportunist. You saw my boots sitting in the dressing room of the strip club I was working at and decided to steal them. I did not notice they were gone until the end of the evening, when I was preparing to leave. You left me boot-less on a cold, rainy night. As I walked in stocking clad feet through the muck and the oily water, I thought of my mother, who bought me those boots years ago, even though she could not afford them, and how much I hope you suffer, you who are not even worthy to drink piss from the very boot you pinched from me.

15 replies on “Den of Thieves”

  1. What do you expect when you lower yourself to the level of stripper? Your “industry” drags down the city. Worry more about the underage strippers turning tricks in your lousy club, and less about your crack-head attracting boots.

    This is a wake up call. Stop stripping and get a real job.
    Your club attracts rapists, child molesters and all sorts of people worse than the crack head that sneaks in looking like she belongs there.

    I take this all back if you are under age and beg you to go directly to the police or family. But if you are an adult- get
    your head examined. It ain’t boot-stealing crack heads at issue- it is you and your stupid choice of how to make a quick, disgraceful buck.

  2. It’s a sad day when you have to strip with your boots slung around your neck just so they won’t get stolen. Maybe you could turn it into your trademark, though…and gather tips in the boots?

    Too bad about the oily water, that’s almost as bad as a greasy basement.

  7. At least they are going to a good home. Stripper boots so often end up lost in the foster care system and wash out at the goodwill bins as a surly teenager with daddy issues.

    Sucks you had to walk home in the rain.

    @ Reverend bite me. Rapists and chimos aren’t attracted to strip clubs, they’re attracted to underage and vulnerable girls…You know, the ones your interested in “saving”.

  8. Careful assisse, that 2nd sentence sounds a bit like a call for social justice.

    The League has not approved such comments from you as your membership application was discarded, I mean denied after careful review.

  10. I love strippers that know what’s going on but you can’t be calling out others as shameful opportunists when you seem to know what’s going on and you strip for guys named Lonely Steve.

  12. Assise, you’re not fooling everyone. We all know you’re an asshole and don’t believe for a second in your pseudo-Chekhovian compassion.

  14. assisse, another Chase Bank reference? Can’t you even make a legitimate attempt at humor.

    If you’re not trying, mission accomplished. Not funny, not witty, and not evenly remotely close to reality.

    If you are trying, you need to raise your game. That shit is stale.

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