R&B poptart Rihanna (Umbrella-ella-ella) has a new video for her song “Rehab” — which would mean absolutely nothing to anyone except for the fact that JUSTIN FREAKING TIMBERLAKE IS ALL UP IN THIS MESS!! The video is all about Rihanna and JT’s tortured desert relationship (and here I was thinking Justin was still in a city relationship with that skank Jessica Biel). Anyway, Rihanna dresses like a stripper while Justin dresses like George Michael in the “Faith” video. And while they don’t seem very happy with each other, they do a shit-ton of “smoldering.” I hope these two crazy kids can get their relationship back together… otherwise, their tiny trailer is going to seem a lot smaller.

CHECK IT OUT! (By the way, am I the only person who thinks Rihanna sounds a little like Mr. Haney from Green Acres?)

More smoldering looks at End Hits!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

2 replies on “Today in Justin Timberlake”

  1. Am I crazy, or does JT only say like two words during the whole song? If I paid for JT to have a cameo, I’d at least let him sing some baby making jams!

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