Are you tired of paying for gasoline with your gold chains? ME, TOO! That’s why I’m going to pawn my jewelry and fronts at United Loan and Firearm—and then Soulja Boy dance my way to the hospital to pay my honky grandfather’s bills! (Oh, just watch the video. You’ll get it—AND LOVE IT!)

Tips to Videogum!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2y5SVGF9xSw%26hl%3Den%26fs%3D1

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)