Okay, so by now everybody knows that Steven Seagal wants the poonani, right? WAIT. You didn’t get the company-wide email that clearly stated Steven Seagal wants the poonani? Well, consider yourself informed, because Steven Seagal—the star of Above the Law, martial arts master, and the subject of the Mercury‘s Steven Seagal Issue—totally wants the poonani. As further proof, here is Steven’s AH-MAY-ZING reggae song—wait, process that— REGGAE song called “Strut,” in which he not only definitively states he wants the “poonani” but also reminds us that “her dress is just as pretty, they’re not just to cover her kitty.” HOLY… SHIT.

Hat tips to BWE!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

4 replies on “Steven Seagal: “Me Want the Poonani””

  1. This is disturbing. Till the part were it says “We´re Jamming”, there it went all of the sudden “Funny”. For a sec. No, I didn´t watch it completely, I gotta grab a bite.

  4. It’s Reggae, it’s Portland, it’s Steven Seagal he’ll get lots of poonani. Just start at Reed then head toward the University District, with a side trip to theCheerful Jolly Roger. Of course, being Portland, he may mostly wind up with fat chicks and an occasional one with a dick.

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