As you surely know, Monday kicks off the Mercury‘s Winter of Fun™ with Skate-a-Roke—karaoke and skating together at last! AND TICKETS ARE ONLY $10! (Plus we have other fun packages—including skate lessons— and the proceeds go to our Rose City Rollers.) GET YOUR TICKETS NOW, AND HERE!

Anyway the second most important thing—besides dressing appropriately in flashy skate-wear—is what song you should sing. Obviously you really should absolutely pick a song that’s UPTEMPO. Because… it’s ROLLER SKATING, MAN! Don’t bum everybody out with your mopey ballads. Disco works great, booty bass works great, new wave works great—anything that provides the necessary bounce! (PRO TIP! If I were you, I’d pick my song out early to get your name in the karaoke queue quick! Go to the Baby Ketten Karaoke site to see if your jam is in the book!)

For just a few examples, here are my TOP TEN ROLLER SKATING JAMS OF ALL TIME (provided with handy links so you can roll and bounce at work). In no particular order…

P.Y.T. (Michael Jackson)
Boogie Fever (Sylvers)
Groove Line (Heatwave)
Dance Across the Floor (Jimmy “Bo” Horne)
Get Off (Foxy)
In My House (Mary Jane Girls)
Let it Whip (Dazz Band)
No Parking on the Dance Floor (Midnight Star)
1,2,3,4—Sump’n New (Coolio)

And finally the hands down best skating song of all time, Vaughan Mason & Crew’s “Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll” (watch this for fashion and jamming inspiration)!

In the comments below, fill in the blank using the following statement: “WTF?? How on earth could you have forgotten about ___________??? That’s my skating JAM!! I’m going to kill you and then myself!!”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZrL8O9ZvkDA

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

13 replies on “Top Ten Skate-A-Roke Songs!”

  1. Fine, I’ll bite!

    “WTF?? How on earth could you have forgotten about Central Line’s “Walking Into Sunshine”??? That’s my skating JAM!! I’m going to kill you and then myself!!”

  2. WTF?? How on earth could you have forgotten about Erik Satie’s Trois Gymnopédies??? That’s my skating JAM!! I’m going to kill you and then myself!!

  8. WTF?? How on earth could you have forgotten about Michael Jacskson’s Off The Wall or Get On The Floor??? Those are my skating JAMZ!! In fact, I’m skating to them right now! I’m going to kill you in a skate-off at midnight!

  9. I vote for Another One Bites The Dust, but it isn’t worth killing WSH or myself over. How about Low Rider for a slow skate song.

  13. WTF! How could you have forgotten: “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leopard; “Rock You Like A Hurricane” by Scorpions; “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osborne; “Pump Up The Jam” by Technotronic; “I love Rock & Roll” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts ???

    Also, how could you have forgotten to slow it down with a few easy rollin’ jams: “Drive” by the Cars; “Time After Time” by Cindy Lauper; “With or Without You” by U2; and “Betty Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes ???

    That’s what I’m talkin’ about!! Roller-jammin’ . . . now you can commence with whatever killin’ you had on your schedule.

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