Yo, you hear them Jesus beats bumpin’ in my trunk? Yeaaaaaah, dawg. You know how we do! We just rollin’ ’round livin’ the WORD, yo. And yeah, it don’t matter if those OLD FOGEY X-tians ain’t feelin’ it! ‘Cuz we Christ-like cruisin’, peeps, just like my man B-SHOC! Weeeeerd to your holy father!
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to GIVE THE MO FUCKIN GIFT OF AUTO-TUNE TO THE WORLD, ya mark ass bitches. [in auto-tuned voice] (I’m pretty sure that’s in the T-Pain testament)