That crucifix is no mere fashion item, it’s our first ever Name This Christian Band contest! Have at it, lambs of Christ.

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The best comment wins a handful of Laurelhurst tickets or a tour of the Mercury offices by Olive the pug. Take the tickets, trust me.

Ezra Ace Caraeff is the former Music Editor for the Mercury, and spent nearly a third of his life working at the paper. More importantly, he is the owner of Olive, the Mercury’s unofficial office dog....

55 replies on “Name This Band: Bad Shirts, Worse Hair Edition”

  22. “Fingered by god”

    “The Sheep Shearers”

    “Gahay for Jesus”

    “Team Yahweh”

    “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor T-Shirt”

    “The Product”

  33. The stripe across the blond guy’s shirt makes it look like he has one boob, so I’m going to say they are The Breast Cancer Survivors For Christ.

  42. Manfisher

    (Mark 1:17 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”)

    Just keep saying it while looking into their eyes. Manfisher. Imagine their awkward hands fumbling with your shirt in the fluorescent light of the church basement. Manfisher. Yes. Manfisher.

    Youth group doesn’t start for an hour. If anyone asks you were just praying together. After you wash no one will know where those hands have been.

  51. Thou Shalt Not Killers
    Guns N’ Rosaries
    The Alter Boyz
    Six Penance, None the Richer
    The No Strokes
    Let There be Highlights

    OK, I’m done now. Thanks for that.

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