Dear America: On Wednesday, July 17, I’ll publicly testify before Congress about my investigation into Russian interference during the 2016 election. I promise I’ll be honest, forthright, and answer all questions to the best of my ability. Here’s something else I promise: I WILL DISAPPOINT YOU.
Look at it from my perspective: I was hired to do a job, right? Well, I did my job, and now you want me to return and tell you how I did my job? I already told you how I did my job—it’s called the Mueller Report! Ever read it? NO, YOU DID NOT! In fact, you refused to read it and instead took the word of a Trump-hired lackey who falsely claimed that my report exonerated the president, WHICH IT MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT.
And yet YOU were disappointed in ME? Why? Because I refused to argue with the idiots on Twitter who also DID NOT READ MY REPORT? Why aren’t you disappointed in Nancy Pelosi? She read my report, and while I practically begged Congress to start impeachment proceedings, she still hasn’t done a goddamn thing! And YOU—who refuses to read my report—are disappointed in ME?