Cecil B. Davenport's
Talk Triggers!

Modern-day parenting is tougher than ever!

Today's teenagers may be "hep," but they still need someone to talk to about their troubling behavior and wrong-headed illogical notions. Sure, it's difficult, but don't give up! Schedule a "pizza pie rap session" with your teens and talk about what's important to THEM. Here are a few terrific examples of "talk triggers" guaranteed to keep the conversation flowing for hours!

1. Are homosexuals merely confused, or are they abominations in the eyes of God? Explain why they're abominations.

2. Give me the names of your friends who "do drugs." Now give me their parents' numbers.

3. If you had to have sexual relations with one member of the family, who would it be?

4. List five things that happen to kids who go snooping where they have no business.

5. If a man offered to "toss your salad," would you accept? Why or why not?

6. List three accidents that could have caused those bruises on your arm.

7. List five things you can do to make sure I don't hit you with my belt.

8. Do you understand why I am sometimes forced to scream at you?

9. Which do you like better: math or science? Explain.

10. Why is God disgusted when you masturbate?

11. What's the strangest place you've ever made whoopee?

12. MC Hammer is "radical." Explain why you agree.

13. Why is cooking a woman's art?