Everyone knows the name of Suey Chow, author of the Willamette Week advice column Dinner Palace of Love, but... how come we only get to see half of her face?? Is she beautiful, like a whispering dream on a summer's day? Or does half of her face look like a gutted fish? Or perhaps worst of all, is she simply ordinary, thereby dashing our expectations of the magnified beauty celebrities seem to share? The mind reels with possibilities!

Since Mercury readers are known for both their artistic and deductive abilities, we decided to propose a "Finish the Face of Suey Chow" contest! Readers were invited to use any media to complete the face of Ms. Chow, and send it in to be judged by our Mercury team of artistic experts [see One Day at a Time for an exhaustive blow-by-blow description of the judging process]. After carefully examining a virtual landfill of entries, the Mercury is ready to declare a winner, and that winner is...

Jim Lingo, of Portland, Oregon!

Jim's intriguing interpretation of Suey Chow's face would seem to be influenced by Picasso's cubist period...either that or he's a cough-syrup-chugging crankhead. Either way, Jim wins $25 and a box of 60-watt light bulbs! Congratulations, Jim! I guess we can chalk this up as another Willamette Week mystery SOLVED!