You have a LOT of long-winded opinions about Portland, don’t you? OF COURSE YOU DO. However, can you compress those many opinions into a single haiku? LET’S FIND OUT!

It’s the Mercury‘s “Sum Up Portland in a Haiku” Contest! And all you have to do is send in one haiku that perfectly sums up the city in which we live. If yours is the best, you’ll win $100 cash money! Meanwhile, the second place winner will receive $50, with the third place recipient taking home a can of Hormel Chili and a box of light bulbs. (But that’s not all! Our top three winners, along with select “Honorable Mentions,” will run in a future issue of the Mercury! W-O-W.)

For those who failed 10th grade English, a haiku is a form of traditional Japanese poetry featuring three lines containing 17 syllables total, in a 5, 7, and 5-syllable format. Here’s an example:

Portland, you haiku

Of cities. Arbitrary

Rules, no rhyme; reason.

Hey, that’s pretty good. THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER? Then enter the “Sum Up Portland in a Haiku” contest by sending your submissions to haikudepartment@portlandmercury.com (and put “My Portland Haiku” in the subject line). Your deadline is no later than THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10. And no, this is not a joke! Good luck, you can do this!

The Mercury‘s “Sum Up Portland in a Haiku” Contest:

A haiku contest

For Portlanders who love to

Win money and bitch!

14 replies on “Enter the “Sum Up Portland in a Haiku” Contest!”

  7. A broken record that plays sane, factual stuff that is grounded in reality is much better than one that plays a chorus of a bunch of overgrown babies whining about the same old trite BS.

    Someone has to dip into the bowels of the Merc’s comment sections and be the former, as the latter is all that is getting heard around here.

  10. If The Mercury gives a prize to any haiku that uses the word “hipster” or mentions “keeping it weird,” I’m cancelling my subscription.

  13. Who is poor and deluded, albert?: isn’t it about time for you to post another whiny I Anonymous about how your uneducated ass can’t afford rent anymore…., blaming your failure to launch on all the “transplants” (not to mention natives!) who can afford to and choose to live in nice apartments?

    And hopefully the irony isn’t lost on you that my original poem was aimed at whiny bitches like yourself? Way to pull the “I know you are but what am I card”. If the “transplants” are pricing fools like you out of town, then I say bring them on.

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