So you're finally ready to buy a mortgage uh, I mean, a house. Why not? All your friends are doing it. It's not like they're any more responsible, mature, or financially stable that YOU. Why do THEY deserve a house and not you? But are you ready to take the plunge? Take this easy multiple choice quiz and find out. Good luck!

Am I ready to buy a house?

My credit history is:

A. Excellent

B. My friends will vouch for me

C. What's "credit history"?

D. None of your bees-wax!

My dream house is:

A. Up to code and move-in ready

B. An English Tudor with a kiddie pool

C. A sailboat like the one Quincy lived on. Wouldn't that be cool?

D. Manufactured by Mattel

Currently I live:

A. In a rental house

B. In an apartment

C. With my parents

D. With my friend's parents

My down payment money is:

A. In the bank

B. In my parent's bank

C. In a jar filled with pennies, nickels, and dimes

D. Currently being held by the 7-11 cashier

I would describe my general financial situation as:

A. Fantastic! Money is burning a hole in my pockets.

B. I paid most of my bills last month.

C. I paid for my last burrito in full and with cash!

D. Jobs are for the bourgeoisie!

Is this the right house for me?

I think my realtor is:

A. A real go-getter

B. Kind of a dick!

C. Hot--I'd like to take up residence in her pants

D. Over-reacting with the restraining order

I've looked at several houses, and the one I like most is:

A. A two-story colonial

B. A ranch style in Hillsboro

C. A fixer-upper in North Portland

D. A tee-pee

My "can't live without" feature in a house is:

A. Gourmet kitchen

B. Two bathrooms

C. A party basement

D. A sunflower-yellow aura

The first thing I will do in my new house is:

A. Remodel the second floor

B. Make sure we're attached to the sewer system

C. Throw a kegger

D. Paint a mural depicting the history of space travel

Give yourself 1 point for every A, 2 points for every B, 3 points for every C and 4 points for every D. Now add up your points. If you scored between 1 and 6, congratulations, you are ready for home ownership! You are a fine American and will take good care of the yard. If you scored between 7 and 12, you are decidedly average and adequately prepared for homeownership. If you scored between 13 and 16, you probably want a house, but don't deserve one and won't qualify for a mortgage. And if you scored above 17, you are either a small child or should live in a group home.