News May 20, 2011 at 9:26 am


God took Randy Macho Man savage. The Rapture is beginning. Have fun in Hell sinners!
Heaven can't wait.

The Onion often does a better job of news reporting than what is passed off as journalism these days.
You're right, Bobby, Jesus lifted one human at random up to Heaven to see if humankind was worth saving. Unfortunately, it was Randy Savage. WE'RE ALL DOOMED!
Uhm...assholes go to heaven, where you can´t have sex (not that you had it going on sex machine), the booze and loud music stays on earth, along most of hot chicks and science fiction writers...

If I was ever in the list, for some bizarre reason, like saving cats, please take me off your list you bunch of ass stains.
...just making sure. If I start to levitate on Saturday I´ll grab myself really hard to something and wait for it to end.
Is there a website that just has people's reactions to Onion articles they think are real!? They should!
Lest you doubt that The Onion is as good if not better than most other news organizations out there, take a look at this prediction looking ahead at the Bush II years:…
Letting marijuana users carry concealed weapons seems unnecessary when they can always just enter hyperspeed and tear their adversaries to bits with a roachclip.
That's nothing. We spend $8 billion on one wing of a fighter jet that goes and drops bombs on children. COME ON!

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