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In full COVID denial, the president goes on a tweet rampage—but this time on STEROIDS.
In full COVID denial, the president goes on a tweet rampage—but this time on STEROIDS. Courtesy NBC News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Get on your grind, to the other men that respect what I do, please accept my shine. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

• Oregon's COVID-19 testing capacity is about to double, meaning the state will be able to perform up to 80,000 tests a week until the end of the year, which will hopefully translate to curbing the state's rising infection rate. The extra tests will also be factored into a new metric that state officials will use to decide if elementary and high schools will reopen for students to physically attend classes.

• At a Portland protest outside the ICE facility last night, where several arrests were made:

• It took 19 months, multiple investigations, and two grand juries, but a Portland man has been charged with rape and sexual assault following a reported attack on a woman at one of the city's most popular bars.

• Portland mayoral candidate Sarah Iannarone is taking the city auditor to court to make her enforce the campaign spending limit that was broken when Mayor Ted Wheeler loaned his campaign $150,000 of his own money.

• If your face is hungry, why not feed it with good ideas for local to-go food courtesy of our weekly "Takeout Club" column?

IN NATIONAL NEWS

• Okay, so first, Trump instructed his drooling Republican minions to kill all talks on a coronavirus relief plan until "after I win" the election, and people (including his own party) went INSANE over this obvious quid pro quo. So NOW Trump is throwing another screwball at the situation, saying he will approve $1,200 stimulus checks for all Americans and bailouts for airlines and small businesses. (Can someone tell him that these COVID steroids he's taking are causing me whiplash?)

• According to White House insiders, the terminally insecure, COVID-infected Trump is still trying to project an image of strength, demanding to move back into the Oval Office, attend next week's debate, and get back on the campaign trail (while presumably infecting everyone along the way).

• Trump's senior racism advisor Stephen Miller has tested positive for coronavirus. (It couldn't happen to a nicer white nationalist sympathizer.)

• The Vice Presidential debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris kicks off at 6 pm PST tonight in Salt Lake City, moderated by Susan Page, USA Today's Washington bureau chief, and as god as my witness, THIS WILL BE THE ONLY DEBATE I WILL WATCH.

• Former U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions and deputy Rod Rosenstein were two of the primary drivers behind the ghastly decision to separate the children of immigrants from their parents and subsequently cage them, according to a 2018 draft report from the Justice Department.

• An appeals court has ruled that Trump must turn over his tax documents to a New York state prosecutor, which means the case will probably show up in front of the Supreme Court for a second time.

• Supreme Court Justice nominee Amy Coney Barrett, besides being an anti-abortion crusader, was also a member of a Christian sect called People of Praise which followed a male-dominated hierarchy and practiced "shared living, faith healing and speaking in tongues." And wait, wait, WAIT... it gets better! Barrett also held the title of "handmaid" in the organization! (Shout out to my Margaret Atwood-heads!)

• The Nobel Prize for chemistry is going to two women for the discovery of genetic scissors that can be used to precisely "edit the DNA of animals, plants and microorganisms."

• In these terrifying times, don't you need a good, wholesome scare? Get your tickets now for SLAY—the short, eight-minute-or-less HORROR film festival from the makers of HUMP! Debuting Oct 15-31!

• Now let's peer suspiciously skyward for the WEATHER: You can expect another mostly sunny day today with a high of 76.

• And finally, James Cordon KILLS IT with this pitch perfect parody of Trump's proclaimed immunity.