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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! You were better, deeper... I was under your spell. Like a deadly fever, yeah babe, on the highway to hell. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

• IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! Last night Portland saw one to two inches of the white stuff in the metro region, and according to the weather peeps, we could be getting up to six more inches tonight in addition to freezing rain which could make travel treacherous. So maybe stay home if you can! But while you're safe and cozy inside, don't forget about those who don't have a warm place to stay. Check out our roundup of winter sleeping shelters and ideas of what YOU can do to help those who need it most!

• Thanks to their wildly heavy-handed response to last summer's protests, the Portland Police is once again in violation of their agreement with the DOJ—but due to the cops continuing abuse of various communities, does this compliance agreement even make sense anymore? Our Alex Zielinski takes a deep dive look at all the factors involved!

• In a very different type of police response, on the Oregon Coast, Gearhart Police Chief Jeff Bowman has informed the mayor and city council that his officers will no longer be the first on the scene to respond to people in mental health crisis, saying, "To be honest with you, we aren’t trained to be mental health counselors.” AND HE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

• According to police, over 100 shots were fired in three shootings that occurred Wednesday night in North and Northeast Portland, with two people being seriously wounded. There have been 129 reported shootings in the city since the beginning of 2021.

• Carmelo Anthony was the lifesaver for the Blazers last night as they took down the Philadelphia 76ers, 118-114.


• Following yesterday's damning closing arguments from Democrats, Trump's (not-so-competent) lawyers will take the stage in today's impeachment trial—but don't expect it to last long! They attorneys admit they'll probably only spend three hours making their weak First Amendment argument, because why should they waste their time when the majority of Republican have no intention of convicting Trump? In short, it will be the easiest paycheck they've ever made.

• In very good news, Trump is in danger of losing two of his most profitable real estate purchases because his business partner is considering withholding cash flow. This could make the former prez sell both properties at a discount, putting him in even further dire financial straits. (Note: That's good news for us, not so much for him!)

• In even more bad news for Trump, former US ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley has finally turned her back on her former boss, chastising him for his role in the January 6 Capitol riot, and saying he has no future in the GOP. Welcome to the resistance, Nikki. (And yes, I'm being sarcastic!)

• But she may be right: Senate Republicans—even the ones who are refusing to vote to convict Trump—are saying the Democrats damning portrayal of the former president's actions on January 6 have ruined his chances of ever becoming the GOP presidential nominee. So MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, I guess?

• The Biden administration has finalized a deal that would provide the country with 200 million COVID vaccine doses from Pfizer and Moderna—reportedly enough to vaccinate every single American. (Now he just has to overcome the Herculean task of distribution—no thanks to our former do-absolutely-nothing leader Trump.)

• Trump administration lie #3,785,902 (if you're still keeping score): According to the New York Times, Trump's doctors severely downplayed the president's health when he had COVID last year, reporting that Trump had so much trouble breathing, he was very nearly put on a ventilator.

• Today in "there's no reforming the police": New footage has been released showing Rochester, NY officers pepper-spraying a 9-year-old Black girl in the eyes, telling her “You did it to yourself, hon.”

• DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? Then submit your FREE Mercury Reader Valentine which will be published online for all the world to see! Valentines will remain on the site until Feb 17... but you can enter yours now!

• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! The HUMP! 2021 Film Festival is NOW STREAMING ONLINE, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets pronto!

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Hunker down for a snowy day with a high around... BRRRRRR... 28?!?

• And finally, reupping this evergreen tweet, circa 2016, of a very normal snow commute (at least for me).