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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! You've made it through the first work day of the week... ALMOST. Let's seal the deal by checking out the day's top NEWSY-NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWSY-NEWS:
• Whoopsy-doodle! The dark money, extra-sketchy political group People for Portland have been accused of violating state election law by actively campaigning against some local leaders (including Metro Prez Lynn Peterson) in a recent online ad. That's a no-no unless the group registers with the state, reveals how much they're spending to shit on certain officials and, most importantly, WHO'S DONATING TO THEIR SKETCHY CAUSE. If the state agrees they've crossed the line, then they won't be a "dark money" group much longer!
Officials with the Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs have declared an emergency as about 4,000 people brace for running-water outages.— OPB (@OPB) March 21, 2022
• To the surprise of no one, big business is lining up to challenge the Oregon legislature's Climate Action Plan which pledges a 90 percent cut in gas emissions by 2050. Fossil fuel companies, loggers, and other biz types say the plan sets a "dangerous precedent" in trying to save people's lives and that the state has also “overstepped its authority” by trying to save people's lives.
There are nearly 12,000 vacant rental units in Portland and more than 4,000 individuals experiencing homelessness. What would happen if each landlord was asked to commit at least one of their units to be used as subsidized housing? https://t.co/rk8sKsHCbT— Nicole Hayden (@Nicole_A_Hayden) March 21, 2022
• TODAY IN SPORTING NEWS: It was announced today that beloved Blazer Dame Lillard will be sitting out for the rest of this season to fully heal from his recent abdominal surgery. GET BETTER SOON, DAME!
• Our Elinor Jones returns with another hilarious, gossip-packed edition of THE TRASH REPORT. This week: Republican baby-nappers, manufactured elk drama, and which horny mature whale are YOU?
• In WEATHER, expect a mostly sunny day tomorrow after today's drenching, with highs popping up to... whoa! 70 degrees!
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• Hundreds of thousands are trapped in the Ukrainian city of Mariupol, and thousands more have died, as Russia continues to rain missiles down upon their heads, and demanding the surrender of the city—so far Ukraine is refusing as the residents struggle to escape and survive. Putin's military also attacked a mall in Kyiv, killing eight.
A massive 🇷🇺 attack against a shopping center in Kyiv Today. Pure destruction seems to be the objective. pic.twitter.com/zhSr6fdVvQ— Carl Bildt (@carlbildt) March 21, 2022
• Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson made a vow of "neutrality" today in the opening day of her nomination process for the Supreme Court, with Democrats cheering the possibility of the Court having its first Black woman justice, while Republicans... well, you know... are still crying over how Justice Kavanaugh (convincingly accused of sexual assault) was treated oh-so-horribly.
Marsha Blackburn lectures Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first Black woman nominated to the Supreme Court, on "so-called" white privilege https://t.co/LFBeNyMSB8— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) March 21, 2022
• In other "Justice" news (or "injustice" depending on how you look at it): Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has been hospitalized with an "infection" that according to the court is not COVID-19. We'll see what happens I guess!
• Hey Wordle fans! This one's for you:
A 16th century German 'oath skull' (a human skull on which defendants swore their oath in Vehmic courts) - engraved with the 'magical' Roman 'Sator square', mysterious palindromic word-squares found across the Roman world, comprising the words SATOR, AREPO, TENET, OPERA, ROTAS. pic.twitter.com/Bjyu24Io9u— Gareth Harney (@OptimoPrincipi) March 20, 2022
• It's the LAST WEEKEND to stream the hilarious, sexy, and hot HUMP! Film Fest 2022! Get those tickets here!
• And finally, this is me powering through the rest of this week:
Ima 100% sure my mans an avenger pic.twitter.com/yiXcqgrNMy— Maury Cameraman (@DeepFriedToes_) March 21, 2022