Hey Mercury pals!
Big news from Mercury HQ: The Mercury (along with our sister publication The Stranger, EverOut, and Merc Tickets) has been sold to Noisy Creek, who has BIG plans for the continued success of your fave Portland news and entertainment source!
Now before you lose your goddamn mind (and who wouldn’t, with the terrible recent loss of several Oregon newspapers, and the sale of the Pamplin family of publications), let’s answer some very basic questions:
Q: Is the Mercury going to stick around?
A: OH, HELL YES. The Mercury will not only continue being the fun-loving, news-spewing, progressive loudmouths you’ve come to know and love, our new owners, Noisy Creek, are committed to building on our success and making us bigger and better than ever! (It’s kind of like in the Fast & Furious movies, where Dom is racing a pretty cool car, but then after realizing he’s being pursued by an attack helicopter, he hits that little button that says “NITRO” and BOOM! He launches up and over the Grand Canyon and escapes, while giving the helicopter the bird. Something like that.)
Q: Okay, well, are there going to be any Mercury layoffs?
A: Absolutely not! In fact, Noisy Creek loves what we’ve been doing with the Merc, and has committed to beefing up our editorial and EverOut calendar staff with new hires, along with increasing the technical support we need to continue kicking ass and taking names.
Q: Waaaaaitasecond (you say suspiciously), who are these “Noisy Creek” characters anyway? Some snakey hedge fund creeps from Manhattan named “Chad” and/or “Seth,” I assume!
A: Are you fucking kidding me? Like we’d ever sell our business to someone named “Chad”? Look, Noisy Creek is a new publishing company composed of progressive hotties who believe that supporting alternative, progressive news and entertainment publications can inspire young people to get involved politically and culturally in their communities, thereby making life better for everyone. In other words, we are simpatico to the point where I suspect Noisy Creek somehow crawled inside my brain while I was sleeping in order to pluck out my best ideas.
But seriously, let’s get to know these Noisy Creek-ers: Brady Walkinshaw (our new chairman and publisher) was a Washington State Democratic Representative from 2013-2017 and his passion for media led him to becoming the CEO of Grist, the well-known “nonprofit, independent media organization dedicated to telling stories of climate solutions and a just future.” Under his leadership at Grist, the organization nearly tripled in size and grew into a nationally-known and respected media powerhouse.
Rounding out the Noisy Creek team are Toby Crittenden (the former executive director of the get-out-the-vote progressive org, Washington Bus Project), Dae Shik Kim (freelance writer, former senior producer at Vice News, and a video production genius), and author/journalist Hannah Murphy Winter (former editor/reporter for Rolling Stone where they reported on justice, the climate crisis, queerness, and politics). That’s hot. And weirdly, not a hedge fund creep in the bunch!
Q: Okay, but why is this happening now? Was the Mercury in some kind of trouble (which wouldn’t surprise me one bit)?
A: Surprisingly, we are not in any trouble! We’ve been slowly but steadily rebuilding since the gut-punch of the pandemic—and we were doing just fine. However, while we’ve turned down multiple offers from various business interests to purchase our company in the past, this is the first time we’ve hooked up with like-minded people who share our values, and who we actually LIKE. In other words, Noisy Creek are our new trustworthy friends who will help the Mercury reach our fullest potential. (In what way? You may refer back to my previous, weird Fast & Furious metaphor if you like.)
Q: FINE. So what can I expect next from the Mercury?
A: MORE STUFF. And that’s all I’ll say right now, because I know how much you love surprises. But STUFF is definitely on the horizon, and it's all STUFF you’re gonna like. Hang with us and see what happens, STUFF lovers!
Okay, this press conference is over, so no more questions right now! But trust me when I say, I’m tickled pink with this latest development, and our bottom line remains the same: The Portland Mercury is dedicated to YOU—this city and every single person and community within it. And we’ll continue being that loud voice speaking up for the marginalized, while also annoying the fuck out of greedy opportunists who (wrongly!) think they can turn Portland into their personal piggy banks. And we’re going to keep doing it until we’re no longer needed… or the nitro runs out. Whichever comes first!
I hope you’re having a great day, and that you’re hanging in there. We’re thinking about you!
Yer always pal,
Wm. Steven Humphrey
Editor-in-Chief
Portland Mercury
(he/him)
